Open your brain tank, bro, ’cause here comes some premium 91-octane knowledge.

Why were you given your particular name?

Because it was the law that every girl born in 1978 had to be named Heather. The only saving grace for my VERY PLAIN name is that my Anne has an "e." ["Yes, this is Anne Shirley," said Marilla. // "Spelled with an e," gasped Anne, who tremulous and excited as she was, was determined there should be no misunderstanding on that important point.]

What is your favorite thing to do?

Stories is my favorite thing to do. Book ones, TV ones, movie ones, all the ones. ["The world is dark and light is precious. Come closer, dear Reader, I am telling you a story."]

What is your favorite food?

Burritos! Just think about it: A burrito can be whatever you want as long as it is something wrapped in a tortilla (second best food!) covered in cheese (first best food!). It's the perfect thing to put in your mouth! ["OK, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Right. I forgot. Here in The States, you call it a sausage in the mouth."]

What is your favorite book?

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. ["No good sittin' worryin' abou' it. What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does."]

What is your favorite candy bar?

Reese's! ["Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy."]

What is your favorite cookie?

Chocolate chip! ["My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Tolouse."]

What is your favorite sport?

Basketball! ["Strap, God wants you on the court."]

What is your favorite song?

The Rainbow Connection by Kermit the Frog! ["... the lovers, the dreamers, and me."]

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A writer! ["Imagine being able to tell such stories, whispering miracles into other people's brains! To live by imagination alone!"]

What place would you like to visit?

I'm never, ever going to grow tired of visiting Britain. Ever. Ever. Ever. ["Heaven take thy soul, and England keep my bones!"]

What is your favorite thing about your mom?

She loves everyone just the same, regardless of race or ethnicity or social status or gender or orientation or anything. ["I think there's just one kind of folks. Folks."]

What is your favorite thing about your dad?

He's a mega-genius and he loves me very much, just as I am. ["Bright young women, sick of swimming, ready to stand ..."]

What is your favorite thing about yourself?

I can quote a lot of lines from a lot of stories. ["Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a BAT steals all of my press?"]

What are three adjectives best describe you?

Whimsical, warm, selfish. ["Fuck wank bugger shitting arse head and hole!"]

In five years, what kind of person will you be?

Same as now, probably. Hopefully a little smarter and a little more mature. A little more confident in my ability to succeed. ["I already feel like an idiot most of the time anyway, with or without the fireman's pole."]

In ten years, what kind of person will you be?

Hopefully one with a hoverboard! ["Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads."]