Friday, 4 December 2009

Holiday Heroes Alliance, Part 5, by Lindsay

FBI Criminal Investigation Specialist Christina Bryson managed to squeak out a "hello" between coughs and gasps when she saw Hubert Hare once again standing outside her door. He grinned at her, patiently waiting for her to recover.

"May I come in, Ms. Bryson?" Hubert asked her calmly after he'd been standing in her doorway for at least two minutes as she stared at him.

"She wants bananas," was Christina's answer before she realized she had been gazing towards Hubert’s crotch. "Oh. Shit. Yeah, come in." Completely aware of what had just occurred, Hubert reacted with nothing more than a small smile. She moved aside to let him into her office, his scent sending Christina to a place filled with melting snow, freshly cut grass, and blooming flowers. As he brushed against her, she thought she was going to lose it. Her knees become completely numb, almost buckling underneath her. Her headache was suddenly replaced with the all-too-familiar fuzzy feeling that usually accompanies a first kiss. Chills danced down her back and butterflies tickled her insides for the first time since...

"I beg your pardon, Ms. Bryson, but who wants bananas?" Hubert asked her as she closed the door, whipping her back to the present from her short daydream. The present in which the Easter Bunny was standing in her FBI office. Time to get a fucking grip, girl, Christina thought to herself. And probably with a side of more whiskey.

"Mother Nature." Christina straightened up, tossed her hair back, and put her game face back on. Enough acting like a twelve year-old with a bad crush. "She called me right before you showed up. She was actually kind of a bitch. Anyway, she has Nick."

"Yes, that actually doesn't really surprise me. She's always been a little obsessed with Nick. They dated one time years ago, but he dumped her for the Tooth Fairy. She never really got over it, and she's been trying to ruin Christmas ever since. First with all the cold weather, now I with his kidnapping."

"Okay, first. The Tooth Fairy?"

"Yes, Wanda White."

"Shut up."

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry. Okay, second, she's actually after you. Seems you're her new conquest and she wants me to bring you in exchange for Nick."

"Why me? I didn't even use my powers on her. There's a reason I stay far, far away from her!" Hubert Hare started in on his rant, looking more flustered and red-faced than Christina had seen. "Why does she always do this? She stalks a new guy each week, thinking that it's going to get them to fall for her and then she goes and does something crazy. It's like this EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I am so fucking sick of her flying off the handle and causing some crazy ass tornado or hurricane or earthquake. You know Mount St. Helen's years ago? That was when Cupid broke up with her! People DIE every time things don't go exactly her way! We don't need another Hurricane Katrina! She's a maniac and she needs to be stopped. TODAY!" He boomed.

"Er..." Christina was speechless, although this was not a new feeling when it came to Hubert.

"I apologize for my tone, Ms. Bryson. That was...inappropriate." Hubert looked down, appearing mildly embarrassed, as he regained composure.

"No! It's- it's cool. And the bananas. They're for the flying monkeys."

"Flying monkeys?"

"It's a long story."

"Well, it seems, Ms. Bryson, that we need a plan."

"It seems. Any ideas?"

"Well, I thought we could use some back up."

"Back up?"

"They're already on their way. Should be here shortly."

Just as Agent Christina Bryson was imagining the other Holiday Heroes Alliance members that were about to show up at her office, her phone started to ring and there was a hurried knock on her door.

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