being this lazy is an artform

  We went to Mexico last week for my dear friend Mary's wedding and, although it was very relaxing, there were not enough lazy days for my tastes. For you see, if I had my way, every day would be a lazy day.

However, I apparently had enough lazy days for me to forget how to be productive, which is why you are getting the laziest post ever.

Anatomy of a Lazy Day:

• Wake up, whenever you'd like, no alarms. (I prefer to wake up earlyish to get the most lazy out of my day, but your mileage may vary.)
• Put on bra (optional)
• Leave on pajamas (not optional)
• Make breakfast
• Sit on sofa with said breakfast
• Try and ignore the dog staring at you with hungry, pleading eyes
• Eat breakfast while watching TiVo, Netflix, or your Party Down DVDs for the 18th time
• Decide to watch only one episode while you eat, then you're definitely going to do something productive
• Watch one more episode
• Enter a fugue state in which you finish half a season, realize you're hungry
• Make lunch
• Sit on sofa with said lunch
• Try and ignore the dog staring at you with hungry, pleading eyes
• Decide to watch one more episode while you eat, then you're really, really going to do something productive
• Accidentally finish the rest of the season
• Shower (optional) 
• Put pajamas back on (not optional)
• Is it 5 yet? Then it's acceptable to start drinking.
• Open a beer
• Go back to the sofa, The Holy Mothership of Lazy Do-nothings
• Mooooore teeeeeeveeeeeeee
• Order pizza once your stomach starts growling
• Have you finished an entire season of TV yet? If not, FOR SHAME. If so, maybe switch to movies. Or not. IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER. 
• Sit in a stupor until the Arrested Development DVD menu screen lulls you to sleep

And, bonus, Anatomy of a Lazy Day, Mexico Edition:

• Wake up
• Put on swimsuit, sunscreen
• Go to breakfast
• Head to pool
• Order margarita
• Fall asleep
• Repeat until sun goes down

I almost prefer the Mexico Edition, except there's no TV in that version.