Time is making fools of us again.

YOU GUYS. This summer I totally crossed my heart, hoped to die, motherfucking PINKY SWORE that I’d go see some movies. In the movie theater. Specifically Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World and Piranha 3D. And I didn’t. At all. Not even once. I AM SO SORRY THAT I’M A BIG FAT LIAR, JOE.

So I’d like to say that boy oh boy I’m a-gonna see the shit out of the fall movies this year, but let’s face it, I will not. Because I suck. No wait, no I don’t! (Well, much anyway.) I’m just very, very, very, very busy. Doing what? I HAVE NO IDEA. But the minutes, they fall through the hourglass like the sands of time, and then the hourglass gets knocked off the shelf because Winston is being a GIANT ASSHOLE and then the hourglass breaks and the sand gets, just, everywhere, and then I have to pull out the vacuum and clean up the mess and once I have the vacuum out I figure I might as well vacuum the entire apartment plus the lampshades plus the upholstery plus a tree (don’t ask). What I’m trying to say is that my life sucks.

No wait, it doesn’t. But it is very, very, very, very busy, and when one is very, very, very, very busy one must prioritize. So, BEHOLD, my list of priorities:

1. Drinking Alcohol
2. Feeding Winston
3. Cooking and Eating Food
4. Sleeping
5. Reading
6. Traveling
7. Watching NewsRadio
8. Working
9.

10. Complaining about The Heat
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?. Going to the Movies
?+1. Calling My Mother

THAT SAID, the one movie that I cross my heart, hope to die, motherfucking PINKY SWEAR to see is this one. Duh.