Wednesday, 27 October 2010

If you try and hold my hand I'll slug you.

The Halloween episodes of Roseanne are some of the best television ever made, and in my head I do the holiday just like she does, complete with over-the-top parties, costumes, and shenanigans. In my head, I prepare for Halloween the way most people prepare for Christmas, with decorations and cookies and pies galore. Then again, in my head I’m witty and pretty and bright.

In real life, or “IRL”, I’m kind of a mess. I have no concept of time. Like, none. If you were to ask me when Halloween was this year, I’d be all, “This weekend!” but my brain would be all, “In three weeks or something!” Add to that the fact that I cannot multi-task, AT ALL, and... well... sometimes we carve pumpkins:

Halloween 021



nerds live here

and sometimes we don’t. Like this year, for example! Halloween is this weekend, but between dinner plans, and the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, and drinking with the horse people (don’t ask), and just drinking in general, I DON’T KNOW WHEN WE’LL HAVE TIME. And then there’s the costume sitch. THIS YEAR was going to be the year I wore a totally funny and awesome costume. I even went online weeks ago and picked one out. But then I got distracted by something shiny, and did I ever order said funny and awesome costume? NO I DID NOT! So once again it looks like I’ll be donning my Groucho glasses or my tiny pirate hat and hoping for the best.

So, in summary, my Halloween traditions include maybe or maybe not decorating, maybe or maybe not carving pumpkins, maybe or maybe not baking, and maybe or maybe not dressing up in a totally funny and awesome costume. And public drunkenness. Lots and lots of public drunkenness.

See you at the rally!

8 comments:

Joe G. said...

That Chewie pumpkin is amazing.

Also, I am sofa king jealous that you're going to the rally. If you see one of my groomsmen there, tell him I said hello.

Jennie said...

Yeah, the Chewie and Yoda pumpkins are the best.

Who was it that carved a Sirius Black pumpkin that ended up looking like Jesus? I can't remember.

me said...

First- your pumpkins make mine look like a 12 year old did them :)

Secondly- for cookies..I have oodles of people (like a dozen) coming tomorrow. I need to make something. I figured cookies.

HELP? Otherwise they are getting maybe cookie cut outs. of some store bought easy to bake cookie.. i'm lazy but also uncreative.

can you help? I'll bake it..and be non-lazy!

SARAH G

Heather Anne said...

I love that everything is a maybe, except the public drunkenness!

eclectic said...

Here's to alcohol!! Cheers!

mysterygirl! said...

I was going to say what Heather Anne already said. At least some things in life are constant.

Happy Halloween! And beautiful pumpkins! Why is the Collective so darn good at carving?

april said...

I also agree with Heather.

And to be an artist, I am a pumpkin carving disappointment. :hangs head:

S said...

Sort of, but not really related. I thought of this while watching "The Daily Show" last night. Do you think anyone will bring Riesen chocolate chews to the Rally as their Halloween candy of choice? I mean, I know it's technically the Rally to Restore Sanity, but during the shows, they keep mentioning "reason." And there's my random thought of the day.