The first time I remember making someone laugh so hard that they lost control of their bodily functions was years and years ago, when I was on vacation with my family. We were all gathered at my great aunt's house, sitting around a large table in her backyard. Midway through dinner, I burped, long and loud like Buddy the Elf had inhabited my body. My uncle had to sprint from the table, beer shooting out of his mouth. I was eight.
Thus began my long career of trying to out-Chandler Bing everyone in the room. I was that little girl perfecting her Babs Bunny imitation on the playground at recess. I was that person sitting in the back of the classroom, cracking jokes that only those sitting next to me could hear. I'm that woman who talks about poop and dog barf on her blog, immature, yes, but it's FOR THE LAUGHS, PEOPLE.
Honestly, I haven't felt very compliment-worthy lately but I've had enough people tell me I'm funny to believe that, sure, sometimes I'm good for a laugh. I once made my mom laugh so hard that she peed a little and another time Joe LITERALLY almost passed out because he was laughing so hard at something I did/said that he couldn't catch his breath. I don't remember what I said either of those times. If I did, knowing me, I'd run it into the ground until it wasn't funny anymore. For an example of this, I submit Exhibit A: my blog.
I also talk about farting a lot, so kids think I'm hilarious.
ANYWAY. Here are some actual funny people. I know they're For Real Funny** because they get paid for it:
*I also change certain words in pop songs to "butt" or "poop" WOULD YOU LIKE TO HIRE ME TO SING AT YOUR WEDDING?
**except for Horatio Sanz