Monday, 26 September 2011

I speak six languages, two of which you've never heard of.


me: i need a giant favor
10:32 PM Amy: where are you?
me: in my office.
10:33 PM Amy: i thought you had to watch pan am so you can recap it.
10:34 PM me: i will in just a second, but i need you to write a collective post for me for tomorrow. it's guest post week and i totally forgot.
10:35 PM Amy: you forgot? that is shocking.
10:36 PM Amy: i hate writing, you know that. what do you need?
me: can you just write one teeeensy post about what tv show everyone should be watching this fall
10:38 PM Amy: isn't that your job? like your actual job?
10:39 PM me: yes, but it's guest post week, and anyway, i am fucking bored to death of my own opinions about tv. plllllleeeeeeaaaase.
Amy: yes, if you'll come down here and make me some brown sugar toast.
me: thank you! ok, how about something like "the five criteria for choosing which fall shows to watch."
10:42 PM Amy: okay. 1) is it bones?
me: lol, ok.
Amy: 2) does it have any australian guys in it?
3) does it have any australian guys in it who take off their shirts a lot?
4) does it have any australian guys in it who take off their shirts a lot and drive sexy cars?
5) does it have any australian guys in it who take off their shirts a lot and drive sexy cars while shooting guns?
10:45 PM me: so, hawaii five-0, is what you are saying?
Amy: and bones.
10:51 PM me: what if booth was australian?
Amy: he would live in the Commonwealth of My Pants
10:52 PM me: thanks, you've been a big help.
Amy: i'm sensing your sarcasm.
me: good, 'cause i'm laying it on pretty thick.
11:27 PM Amy: dude. where's my brown sugar toast?


mysterygirl! said...

"Commonwealth of My Pants" = awesome. And brown sugar toast sounds like excellent bargaining material.

kat said...

oh crap, it's guest post week? SHIT.

hey, mg! how would you like to write my guest post this week? i'll cook you dinner or buy you a beer or something (your choice).

Jennie said...

Shit, I forgot, too. Joe!

Kiti said...

Oooh, me, me! I'll do a guest post for somebody!

Kiti said...

[I'm shameless, no?]

Never That Easy said...

The thing I like best about this post (beside the commonwealth of my pants bit), is that I'm seeing that the ladies of The Collective are as bad at remembering things as I am. It certainly starts my week off on the right foot.

Ashley said...

There is so much about this inspired piece of laziness that I love I don't even know where to start.

eclectic said...

Um, what can I do to earn a piece or two of that delicious-sounding brown sugar toast?