I speak six languages, two of which you've never heard of.

me: i need a giant favor
10:32 PM Amy: where are you?
me: in my office.
10:33 PM Amy: i thought you had to watch pan am so you can recap it.
10:34 PM me: i will in just a second, but i need you to write a collective post for me for tomorrow. it's guest post week and i totally forgot.
10:35 PM Amy: you forgot? that is shocking.
10:36 PM Amy: i hate writing, you know that. what do you need?
me: can you just write one teeeensy post about what tv show everyone should be watching this fall
10:38 PM Amy: isn't that your job? like your actual job?
10:39 PM me: yes, but it's guest post week, and anyway, i am fucking bored to death of my own opinions about tv. plllllleeeeeeaaaase.
Amy: yes, if you'll come down here and make me some brown sugar toast.
me: thank you! ok, how about something like "the five criteria for choosing which fall shows to watch."
10:42 PM Amy: okay. 1) is it bones?
me: lol, ok.
Amy: 2) does it have any australian guys in it?
3) does it have any australian guys in it who take off their shirts a lot?
4) does it have any australian guys in it who take off their shirts a lot and drive sexy cars?
5) does it have any australian guys in it who take off their shirts a lot and drive sexy cars while shooting guns?
10:45 PM me: so, hawaii five-0, is what you are saying?
Amy: and bones.
10:51 PM me: what if booth was australian?
Amy: he would live in the Commonwealth of My Pants
10:52 PM me: thanks, you've been a big help.
Amy: i'm sensing your sarcasm.
me: good, 'cause i'm laying it on pretty thick.
11:27 PM Amy: dude. where's my brown sugar toast?