You know what always gets the weekend off to a good start, besides liquor? Bitching. Get a jump start on your happy by telling us the Five Worst Anything. Ready? Go!
Only 5? really? With my last few weeks I coulda do about 10 a day..and normally I'm happy-go-lucky.
1. A job you hate and have to go to everyday.
2. gossipy-mean and nosey coworkers who never shut up.
3. long distance relationships when you want a hug, especially a military one that keeps the fear of deployment overhead like a cloud.
4. cancer
5. no one else picking up the slack and having to do their work for them.
how about 6? snow coming when the plow people dont know how to plow (isnt that their job!??), and if you lose power you have no one to cuddle with for warmth. (thank God for my pup).
(see, now I feel that I need to be all yay good life and blessings and blah blah. ).
1) Computer crashes. 2) Truly idiot drivers on the road with my newly-driving 16 y.o. 3) Flat rear tire on my bike, which is mounted on a frickin' indoor stationary trainer. Blergh!! 4) Picky eaters for whom I have to cook. 5) Coffee without caffeine. I mean, I love that the guy is doing what he needs to do for his heart and all, but for the love of everything, what's the POINT of decaf??
1) My head hairs are dead from exposure to chlorine. Brushing dead wet hair is like brushing dead wet grass. Or a dead wet dog. Stop expecting me to look good. Just stop it.
2) My nose hairs are growing faster than ever before. Once a month, I have to pluck them. Plucking nose hairs is like giving yourself a catheter. I pluck them so that you don't have to look at them. You should thank me grandly for this.
3) Eyebrows: see #2. Half a dozen are retard eyebrows. Can I say this? I don't think I should have said this. In fact, if anything, they excel at what they do, which is grow, making you think I'm a mutant neanderthal. Can I say this?
4) My beard grows to slowly and thinly to make me look like a man. I once did a weak goatee for a few months, and by coincidence [I DON'T THINK SO], this was the exact period of my life when I sucked.
5) I know you want to hear about my pubes, but I must apologize. There is very little that words can do to describe them. If you would like the pictures, I believe they are in deep confinement at the Collective HQ.
4. Low-budget commercials by local car dealerships guaranteeing credit to people who have either no credit or apocalyptically awful credit, thereby ensuring that the pile of crap constituting their financial situation will continue to worsen in the form of a car payment.
3. Wet dogs.
2. A newly opened bag of pretzels in which every pretzel is stale for some reason.
9 comments:
http://joegrunenwald.blogspot.com/2010/02/five-worst-fathers-on-lost.html
Only 5? really? With my last few weeks I coulda do about 10 a day..and normally I'm happy-go-lucky.
1. A job you hate and have to go to everyday.
2. gossipy-mean and nosey coworkers who never shut up.
3. long distance relationships when you want a hug, especially a military one that keeps the fear of deployment overhead like a cloud.
4. cancer
5. no one else picking up the slack and having to do their work for them.
how about 6? snow coming when the plow people dont know how to plow (isnt that their job!??), and if you lose power you have no one to cuddle with for warmth. (thank God for my pup).
(see, now I feel that I need to be all yay good life and blessings and blah blah. ).
http://lindsayrn.wordpress.com/2010/02/05/chimichanga/
1) Computer crashes.
2) Truly idiot drivers on the road with my newly-driving 16 y.o.
3) Flat rear tire on my bike, which is mounted on a frickin' indoor stationary trainer. Blergh!!
4) Picky eaters for whom I have to cook.
5) Coffee without caffeine. I mean, I love that the guy is doing what he needs to do for his heart and all, but for the love of everything, what's the POINT of decaf??
5 Worst Things To Happen To Me in the Last 24 Hours:
5) Having to wait another week until Lost.
4) Waiting in line for half an hour to buy a basketful of groceries.
3) The impending Snowpocalypse leading to my friend's party tonight being canceled for the second weekend in a row.
2) Probably being snowed in on my birthday.
1) Having someone I used to care about ask me to participate in a threesome.
MG wins. So sorry! :(
(Also, can I kill that person? Please?)
I'm just whining-- everything is okay. :) But thanks for the offer! I might take you up on that.
5 Worst Things About My Various Hairs
1) My head hairs are dead from exposure to chlorine. Brushing dead wet hair is like brushing dead wet grass. Or a dead wet dog. Stop expecting me to look good. Just stop it.
2) My nose hairs are growing faster than ever before. Once a month, I have to pluck them. Plucking nose hairs is like giving yourself a catheter. I pluck them so that you don't have to look at them. You should thank me grandly for this.
3) Eyebrows: see #2. Half a dozen are retard eyebrows. Can I say this? I don't think I should have said this. In fact, if anything, they excel at what they do, which is grow, making you think I'm a mutant neanderthal. Can I say this?
4) My beard grows to slowly and thinly to make me look like a man. I once did a weak goatee for a few months, and by coincidence [I DON'T THINK SO], this was the exact period of my life when I sucked.
5) I know you want to hear about my pubes, but I must apologize. There is very little that words can do to describe them. If you would like the pictures, I believe they are in deep confinement at the Collective HQ.
5. Politics
4. Low-budget commercials by local car dealerships guaranteeing credit to people who have either no credit or apocalyptically awful credit, thereby ensuring that the pile of crap constituting their financial situation will continue to worsen in the form of a car payment.
3. Wet dogs.
2. A newly opened bag of pretzels in which every pretzel is stale for some reason.
1. Peefer's hair issues.
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