Thursday, 15 April 2010

get bent, TAX MAN

Jennie Allow me to blow your minds for a moment, internets. Did you know that planning a wedding, for the most part, is a giant pain in the ass? Oh, wait, you probably already knew that. Oh well. You probably appreciate having unblownapart minds, so you're welcome. It's probably hard to think with an blownapart mind. Most days, I have a hard enough time thinking with an unblownapart mind.

But I digress. My point is, wedding planning = ass pain. That's what I'm saying. There are very few things I care about outside of, you know, Joe being there. Flowers make me yawn. Centerpieces bore me. I can't be bothered with placecards or premarital counseling or table numbers or zzzzzzzzz sorry I fell asleep.

Now before you're all, "But Jennie, why don't you just elope?" I will tell you that if we did that, as soon as we got back we'd be viciously axe murdered by most of our relatives, not to mention, I don't know, I like my family and I obviously like my friends so why wouldn't I want to get them all together and have a big party? THERE IS NO RAISIN NOT TO. We will eat, drink, and be merry, dammit, and also maybe people will tell me I'm pretty and who doesn't like that?

The eating and drinking and being merry, now, that I am all about planning and I will tell you why:

I like food
I like booze
I like dancing (provided there is booze)

Which brings me to one of the more pleasant planning experiences: picking songs. You know why that's pleasant? Because it gives me an excuse to mindlessly scroll through my iPod, screeching, "I LOVE THIS SONG," every five minutes but like, DUH, of course I love this song IT'S MY IPOD.

So far we've picked out the song to our first dance and I've picked out several options for a father/daughter dance, none of which are so sappy that they make me want to gouge out my eyes and stuff them in my ears so I can't hear the butterfly kisses, GO AWAY BUTTERFLY KISSES, and do you know how hard it was to find a father/daughter dance song that wasn't either super sappy or COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE? OK, it wasn't really that hard but it was sort of hard because I don't like country music haha ZING I don't know. I wanted my dad and I to learn the Thriller dance but when I suggested it, he looked at me like I had three heads, which isn't unusual but I've learned to take that as, "Jennie, that idea is crazy and/or impossible so it's time to stop talking." Anyway. I can't share what either of those songs are, though, because some people don't like spoilers. I am not one of those people, unless they are LOST spoilers, in which case if you tell me, I kill you, got it? Good.

Since I can't share the first dance song, which might be my favorite song EVER but really that depends on my mood so I JUST DON'T KNOW, but since I can't share that song, I will share with you my favorite song to run to. Or to kill zombies to. Here it is:


kat said...

the worst part about hearing good running songs is that it makes me want to go running.

i fucking hate running.

Jennie said...

ME TOO. Sometimes a good running song will pop up on my iPod at work, and I'll have to stop myself from getting up and running around the office because I'd probably get in trouble for that.

Heather Anne said...

My all-time favorite inappropriate father(ish)/daughter(ish) song ia Maeby and Michael singing Afternoon Delight on AD. God. Amazing.

mysterygirl! said...

I still have songs I associate with doing crunches in college (I'm looking at you, "3 a.m." by Matchbox 20-- don't judge, it was the '90s).

You need to convince your dad to do the Thriller dance. Don't give up.

Joe G. said...

The Thriller thing would be better if everyone in the wedding party learned it and we all did it together. I can't believe I just now thought of this.

Jennie said...

Heather Anne, that scene made me uncomfortable in just the best way ever.

mg! no judgement. There are still songs that remind me of track practice warmups and I believe there'd be some Matchbox 20 thrown in there.

Joe, also I think we should all wear full zombie makeup.

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

Shaun of the Dead is the best thing ever, surpassed only by Hot Fuzz, which is a very close second.

I think something catchy by Wham! or Chumba Wumba would be nice. Or there's Tool, which is always uplifting:

Ashley said...

Shaun of the Dead scares me more than "real" zombie movies because I feel like the characters are real people and would be awesome to hang out with, which maybe is backwards, but that's how I feel.

Jennie said...

No, I totally get that. Most people in zombie movies are flaming a-holes.

eclectic said...

A zombie wedding party!! YEAH! All dancing to Thriller!

OK, I'm a little too excited about that idea, I can tell by the punctuation. Still!!

me said...

Love Hot Fuzz!
Also- I so want my entire 'audience' (wedding guests) to dance Thriller and learn it!
I dont think I can get 200 people that organized though :(