Thursday, 22 April 2010

Petrie, do not feel sad. It is alright. Many things cannot fly. Rocks, trees, sticks, Spike...

Jennie I was an insufferable child, I imagine. Bossy, a know-it-all, really, Hermione Granger with pigtails and a bigger mouth. I've always been opinionated and usually ran my mouth about whatever inequality I spied with my little eye, which is why I yelled at the daycare director for always making the girls ride in the crappy white van with no air-conditioning and why I complained to the gym teacher that it wasn't fair that he always picked BOYS to help set up the mats for kickball and why I lectured Mr. Counts in the 3rd grade about how women were just as strong as men because did he know they carry babies for nine months IN THEIR STOMACHS? I'm guessing he did, although I think I'd just learned all about it from The Talk my mom gave me after I read Are You There, God, It's Me Margaret and asked her why all those girls in the book were talking about periods because what's so fascinating about punctuation, you guys, REALLY.

So when we started a recycling program at school and I learned about THE ENVIRONMENT and how humans were all up in THE ENVIRONMENT'S business, ruining oceans and blasting down trees and breaking the ozone with COW FARTS, why, I didn't let any opportunity to lecture someone about saving the world pass me by.

Nowadays, I'm glad Kat's got saving the world covered because, frankly, I have gotten lazy. I wish little Jennie would climb in her rocketship(duh)/time machine with Figment and come smack some sense into me. Maybe it's because I'm getting old, but I'm forever forgetting my reusable bags when I go to the grocery, so I have to get plastic ones and then I bring them home and feel guilty but then I use them to clean litter boxes and stuff and I feel LESS guilty but still...no guilt is good guilt. Or something.

Kermit had it right, it's not easy being green (yeah, I went there), but I'm trying. Like, did you know wedding flowers are stupid expensive? Like, some guy quoted me something like $750 WITH A STRAIGHT FACE (I'm assuming, since it was all through email) and I was like, um, sorry, guy, but I'll just go pick some dandelions and make myself a dandelion tiara or something the morning of the wedding. And it turns out, wedding flowers can be horribly bad for the environment unless you get them locally grown from people who don't throw pesticides all over like they're sprinkling sprinkles on cupcakes because lord knows you can never have enough cupcake sprinkles. No, I don't know what I'm talking about either. Anyway, my point is, I'm doing no flowers or fake flowers or local flowers and I'm trying to go to all local businesses for everything else so I don't stomp Mother Nature in the face with my giant carbon footprint.

Because, bipolar or not, I totally love Mother Nature and you want to know why? Ducks. And penguins. And otters and elephants and potbellied pigs and every single other animal I've ever threatened to get as a pet, especially the baby ones.

16 comments:

me said...

hi.. I am getting flowers..mostly cause I love flowers..but they're being donated to my church to stay there so they'll be used. Our little bouquets are just wild flowers really.. (well carnations)..

But we're doing potted plants, from local nurseries, for my center pieces. So really I'm being as green as I can.. and I am 'sarah green' still! (i'm sad about giving up the awesome name)

i'm leaving a large carbon footprint though:( cause i'm getting like 200 people from all over the USA to come to little ole gettysburg..but I"M MOVING!! For the NEXT 10 YEARS! I deserve one last party right?! yes.

but.. anyway.. i started recycling at my elementary school, middle school, high school, college and work! I also formed a Green Stewardship Committee at my college..and we built a Green building! I am a science/environmental dork. Proud of it!

Long comment.. oh well :) but dont ask me what my job is now..cause Kat would hate me! :( (not for long though!)

um.. GO EARTH
Sg

Jennie said...

Yay Earth Day! Let's all hug the Earth!

peefer said...

Yes! Local nursery! That's what I did, but it was easy because I had a cottage wedding and the nursery was 10km down the road which is about half a mile in imperial units. Don't listen to me. Do your own thing. Listening to wedding suggestions is like listening to Nickelback. I don't listen to Nickelback so I don't even know what this means. It sounds cool though.

What's long and green and smells like bacon? (Yeah I went there too.)

Jennie said...

My question is, why does ANYONE listen to Nickleback?

kat said...

i think i'm going to start using the carbon footprint excuse as YET ANOTHER reason i am not getting married so stop asking (boyfriend's parents, i'm looking at you).

Ashley said...

And now I've fallen into the baby animals on Youtube well. Thanks a lot, Jennie.

Abigail said...

I feel so lucky that we were taught in school about recycling and stuff. In some parts of the country THE STILL DON'T! ARGH!

Jennie said...

kat, that is a totally valid excuse. I'm going to have to plant some trees or something to make up for all the out-of-town guests coming that weekend.

Ashley, that well is the best well! I will not apologize! Hee.

Abs, in 4th grade, some of us got to go through all the recyclables after lunch and everyone always wanted that job. I guess digging through trash is totally fun to 10 year olds.

me said...

...we sponsered a Compassion Child in lieu of favors..does that help my carbon footprint?!

Heather Anne said...

You are as adorable as a baby duck. That is true facts.

Ms Elanious said...

Happy EARTH DAY!! I suppose I should really power off my computer in honor of it, but what with all those ginormous industrial fans running 24/7 to dry out my house, I figure my computer is the least of the environment's worries about me right now. *sigh*

Joe G. said...

I agree with Heather Anne.

Our flowerless wedding is going to totally kick ass.

scott said...

I have to say, I enjoyed Earth day. You people have a lovely planet.

Hello, Collective.

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

You make it sound like humans actually pick cows up and squeeeeeeeeeze the farts out of them, thereby implicating us in cow-related methane-flavored atmosphere death. Untrue. Cows have free will. It's exclusively their fault.

Also, the wedding industry has always struck me as such an overblown commercialized scam. A wedding should be all

Clergyman/Judge: You? *points to groom*
Groom: Yep.
Clergyman/Judge: You? *points to bride*
Bride: Yep.
Clergyman/Judge: Super. Let's dance.

...because really, isn't that just about all that's required?

mysterygirl! said...

Little Jennie sounds pretty awesome. I like to think that she and Little MG! would have been friends.

Jennie said...

They would have definitely been friends. And probably gotten into lots of trouble together.