Not a whole lot, actually. I mean, I can obviously do a lot of stuff, and competently at that, but I’m not exactly awesome at any of them. I mean, just look at all the stuff I mess up:
(Those are Brussels sprouts. Very, very, very, very, very burnt Brussels sprouts.)
I am, as “they” say, a Jack-of-all-trades but a master of none.
Except maybe one.
I am a very good lawyer. Like, SO GOOD. In fact, I am such a good lawyer that I have been awarded THREE MEDALS for lawyering. Here’s one of them:
In fact, I am such a good lawyer that a few weeks ago a judge told me I was the BEST LAWYER in my office. Look, my boss agrees:
In fact, I am such a good lawyer that... that’s all I got. But my office is remarkable tidy! Plus I’m CPR and AED certified!