Monday, 16 January 2012
The library is the worst group of people ever assembled in history. They're mean, conniving, rude, and extremely well-read, which makes them dangerous.
One of my favorite things about The Collective (the four of us guys, plus you guys) is how we're the kind of people who prefer to read the book before watching the movie. Which means: a) We're the greatest kind of people in the world (the informed kind!), but b) We're the most likely people in the world to have our childhoods despoiled (by Jim Carrey, usually). Because we know how the story was REALLY supposed to go, and HOW DARE HOLLYWOOD ruin it with their grubby, money-hungry hands!
This week's topic is: Most Disappointing Movie, and so here is my list of the five most disappointing book-to-movie adaptations.
5) Lemony Snicket's a Series of Unfortunate Events/The Grinch
I'm grouping these together because they both star Jim Carrey as a life ruiner and I don't want to give him any more thought that I absolutely have to. Did you know Dr. Seuss' wife hated The Grinch so much that she walked out of the premiere? Four for you, Mrs. Seuss. You go, Mrs. Seuss.
4) The Invention of Hugo Cabret
Brian Selznick's book is -- and you know I don't say this lightly -- actual magic. It's one of the most gorgeous things I've ever held in my hands or gazed at with my eyeballs. Martin Scorsese's film adaptation absolutely soulless. It's the exact opposite of the book.
I've got plenty of issues with Christopher Paolini's Inheritance series (née trilogy), but Eragon, his precocious little origin story, was excessively fun. Great world-building, exciting questiness, plenty of pathos. The movie was maybe the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. I don't only mean the adaptation was bad (it was); I mean the entire movie was terrible. Terrible screenplay, terrible directing, terrible acting, terrible effects. Just all around worst, worst, worst.
2) The Golden Compass
You know everything I just said up there about Eragon? Exact same thing down here about The Golden Compass.
1) The Tale of Desperaux
I almost can't even talk about this. My favorite (non-Harry Potter) book in life, and it was butchered in an animated film starring Emma Watson. Betrayed by Hermione? It's almost enough to make a person give up on living.
Posted by Heather Anne Hogan at 12:30 am