What's FICA? And why is he taking all my money?

I am so tired of election coverage. I am so tired of pundits and debates and speculation and accusations. I'm tired of the White House and the Capitol and the glorified System of Checks and Balances. So, last night while the State of the Union address was occurring I was watching my favorite politicians, Joey, Chandler, Ross, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe.

I hate the government and so should you.

Let me say that a little louder. I FUCKING HATE THE GOVERNMENT (and so should you). I have a really good education that we can blame for this rage-filled opinion. In fact, Political Science was the only AP test I passed, so I know my shit, alright? You can preach to me about the Electoral College and whatever, and this is what I have to say back to you:

1. The government steals our money. I get the income tax thing or whatever, but FICA? Seriously? It's like mugging.


2. The government is dumb. It makes rules that don't make sense and then it makes rules on top of those rules until you're so confused you go along with it. It's pretty much a moo point.


3. The government is soooo slow. They've made a science out of taking forever to get anything done.


4. The government doesn't know the meaning of promise.


5. The government doesn't seem to really understand money. They take it from us. They spend it like crazy. They go farther and farther in debt. Rinse. Repeat. Play some Cups.


6. The government has some fucked up views on beauty.


7. There is no way to quit the government.


8. The government is a collection of dumb rules.


So, in conclusion, you should hate the government and you should love Friends. You should probably be watching Friends right now. Because if you're anything like me, you clicked every "related video" link for the above videos.

For the fans:



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Abigail thinks she reads enough news to justify how much TV she watches. Don't tell her she's wrong.