wordless sound poems

So this week's topic is "Imaginary Friends." I was all excited because "oh, oh, oh! I had one!" which, mostly true. Her name was Kiki and we were BFF. Supposedly.

See I can't really remember her so I called my mom and asked her for funny and interesting stories about me and Kiki.

Not only did my mom have zero funny or interesting stories about me and Kiki, she actually had a little Kiki hate. Apparently the name Kiki isn't on my mom's list of favorite names and she can't figure out how I learned it.

And that's all I've got.

Seriously, I Heart Heather is here on my couch (do not click the link, she has not updated, EVER) and she just stopped me to be like, "I wasn't go to say anything but so far that's REALLY BORING." And she's been drinking for several hours now so if she thinks it's boring then, readers, I'M SO SORRY.

I just have no imaginary stories, only imaginary voices in my head.

Wanna hear an unrelated sad story? Monday, the day of St. Patrick, I FORGOT TO WEAR GREEN.

This is Heather, and I am here to save this post, and also let me tell you about St. Patrick's Day 2008 [ed. note: Heather's orginal spelling was Patriicksy]: There is thisBritish Pub! called Ye Olde Ship and we went there because it opened at 11 A.M. THIS MORNING and Schilbot and I had like a zillion drinks and they had fun names like the Irish Stinger and Black Bart. And we had this awesome! Server named Greg, and let me tell you our theory: See, on St. Patrick's day everybody gets drunk, right? So Ye Olde Ship was probably all "Jive Ho! Yar! We be needing more servers!" so they hired all the random people they could, scab-style, to handle all the drunks (me) who come out on St. Patty's Day. So here are some IRL (in real life) convos we had with Greg:

Abigail: Could you tell us about what these drinks are? Like what is in the Nutty Irishman?

Greg: Uhhhh... I need to go check I have no idea.

[ten minutes later]

Greg: We made those drinks up for today. They have whiskey in them. And the Angel is with creme de menthe. I forget what the Irish Stinger is.

---

Greg: I was wrong that the Irish Angel had the creme de menthe. It's actually the Irish Stinger. So they're remaking your drink.

---

Abigail: We would like two Irish Angels.

Greg: OK ... so that was two Irish Angels?

Heather: is drunk from the creme de menthe

Basically, after trying all four fake drinks we just stuck with shots of Jameson.

Abigail back again. I have truly sullied the name of The Collective and dragged it through the mud with this half-assed, half-drunk post. Awesome. Watch this video and forget how dumb I am.