Thursday, 11 December 2008

Babies are assholes: true or false

Jennie Collective archives contain many things, such as original artwork and, of course, all of our posts, but what you may not know is that they also include the following, collected on our trip to Chicago:


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Funny Trivial Pursuit cards:

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For those who cannot make out my blurry photos (blurry on account of drunk), allow me to BLOW YOUR MIND.

QUESTION: What did Otto Titzling invent?
ANSWER: The brassiere.

True story. You would have stolen it, too. Anyway.

Super Absorbency:

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And best of all, an original trivia game made up by our own Heather Anne. Which you can now play. Right now. Except for some questions because SOMEONE crossed them all out so they're hard to read and then she crumpled up the paper so they're even HARDER to read.

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CATEGORY 1 - Potter

1. When does Harry see Voldemort first?
2. Who is the only Potter character based on a real person?
3. Name 6 (I think) Animagi.
4. What is Albus Dumbledore's full name?
5. Who is the best Potter character? (note: according to Heather Anne)

CATEGORY 2 - Swear Words

1. What word doubles as "donkey?"
2. What word doubles as "poo?"
3. What is the best quote in Love, Actually?
4. Make up a swear word.
5. Babies are assholes: true or false.

CATEGORY 3 - Movie Quotes

1. "She needs to sort out her priorities."
2. "Somewhere in the middle of all this I fell in love with you."
3. "F-O-X."
4. "From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.
5. "You wear stupid things your mum buys you, tonight's another...classic."

CATEGORY 4 - Currency

1. Who is on the $20?
2. Alexander Hamilton is the hottest president on currency, correct? (I think, I can't really read it)
3. What is the best color of currency?
4. can't read it
5. can't read it, but I think it's something about National Treasure

I wish Collective archives contained a picture of the cannibal we met or our waiter, Dooglas Dorsey, but

I should really document the cannibal thing so we have it in the archives and so HERE.

Hokay.  So.  There we were, just sipping our drinks and eating our cheese and this guy was all, "are you guys from Minnesota?" and we were all, "PSHAW no," and he was all, "OK, cool.  Did you guys meet on Myspace?" and we were all, "eff you, NO," and he was all, "OK, cool.  Do you think humans are white meat or dark meat?" and then Heather looked at me and was like, "I can't listen to this conversation anymore," because that's when his girlfriend started talking about how they Googled that question and it came up with this cannibal website where they tell you how to cook humans and that's when I started looking around the bar for things to use as weapons because WE WERE SITTING NEXT TO REAL HONEST-TO-BLOG ZOMBIES.  True story.  Sort of.  Then the zombie pulled out his cell phone and it had like an old-timey radio antennae on it.  He was an old-fashioned zombie.  

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