You choo-choo-choose me?

You know how some women talk a lot about their biological clocks ticking? I don't mean real women because I've never heard a real woman say anything like that. I mean, romantic comedy women. And I suppose there are some real women out there who might say it. Sad women who hang Cathy comics on their refrigerators and think about their womb vacancy all day long. I don't know any of these women, do you? Anyway, MY POINT IS (yes, I have one), I have never understood that whole biological clock thing. My thing is, I like babies that I know, and I'm assuming I'll like my own baby when and if I ever have one, but babies as a group? Assholes. All the screaming and the pooping and the constant need for attention? No, thank you. You guys. When my sister was a baby, she woke up with a dirty diaper one morning and wiped poo on the walls! Do I feel a deep, biological need to clean poo off the walls? No. No, I do not.

But I digress. It's almost Valentine's Day and we're supposed to be talking about the love, not the poo. While I don't understand wanting a baby NOW-NOW-NOW (this is not to say I never will, I just don't, you know, NOW), I do understand the need to have something small around to cuddle every now and then. My cat will not let me cuddle her because she is eeeeevil. Like the fru-its. Of the deviiiiil. Seriously, she is spawn of Satan, you guys.

This is why I chose the following for my Valentine(s):

PUPPIES!!!!!

My need (yes, NEED) for a puppy is growing stronger and stronger, and I could blame it on The Puppy Bowl:

but I won't, or I could blame it on the head-tilting pugs:

but I won't, or I could blame it on The Daily Puppy:

OMG Mugsey the pug!

but I won't, or I could blame it on puppies who love elephants:



but I won't, and I also won't blame it on my aunt for breeding her Labs 80 bajillion times when I was in high school and letting me come over to play with them and OH MY GOD YOU GUYS have you ever played with 11 tiny puppies at once? I highly recommend it.

We aren't allowed to have dogs in our apartment, which is probably good because otherwise I would have tried to adopt all the dogs on Petfinder by now. I'm trying to talk Joe into fostering dogs from SICSA but he's afraid he'll get too attached and want to keep the dog and I'm all, "is that really the worst thing in the world?" So until he gives in, he'll just have to deal with me screaming, "PUPPY!" every time I see a dog anywhere ever.

So, yes, puppies of the world. I choo-choo-choose you.