Yeah, these might not be the actual worst moments, because I'm not really sure there WERE any worst moments, except for one which is GLARINGLY OBVIOUS, writers, you are so mean and I hate you!
Ahem. That said, I enjoyed the premiere, very much, mostly because Joe and I both had our theories proven to be CORRECT (Joe's was that there would be multiple timelines, mine was that Fake Locke/Jacob-hater = smoke monster) and there's nothing I like more than being right, so there.
There were many best moments about the premiere, like Hurley talking to Jacob and the temple being some crazy awesome society with cool fireworks and alternate universe Locke and Jack getting along and remember when Jack used to be really likable? When did that change? Anyway, I didn't even find Kate all that annoying in this episode, which is odd because usually the sight of her face makes me all PUNCHKILLPUNCH but as long as the episodes aren't Kate-centric, I think I'll be OK. But I digress. Here are my worst moments:
5. Juliet dies. Again. I will get back to that. If her death opens up the stupid Jack/Kate/Sawyer looooove (barf) triangle, I'm gonna have to choke a bitch.
4. Alpert gets his ass kicked. Don't hurt his pretty face, Fake Locke!
3. Stupid Jack's hero complex, trying to save Sayid when he is clearly dead. I mean, yeah, it's believable that he'd try to save his friend, and no one wants Sayid to be dead ('cept Ben, maybe), but how many scenes have there been on TV with some doctor pounding on a person's chest, screaming "don't you die on me," while some other calm person is all, "no, stop, he's/she's gone," blah blah whatever. Plus, this was almost just like the time Jack unrealistically brought Charlie back to life after he was totally dead on account of Ethan hanged him because Ethan was kind of a jerk like that.
2. But then! Sayid dies/comes back to life. A) Stop tugging my heartstrings, STUPID SHOW (I'msosorryIdidn'
1. Juliet dies AGAIN?!? SERIOUSLY? Why? Whyyyyyyyyy? Why did they do that? She already died once and it was sad and made me cry and this time was even worse because I thought, "oh, surely they won't kill her off AGAIN," and the writers were like, "haha, jk, and don't call me Shirley," and I was all, "eff you, writers, eff you in your stupid asses!" and they were all, "Jennie, that was hurtful and unnecessary," and I was like, "so was killing Juliet AGAIN!" and they said, "Touche, Jennie. Touche." Except none of that really happened because the writers won't return my phone calls or emails, probably because I keep calling them buttfaces and yelling at them for making my heart all hurty all the time, but whatever, they should at least respond with a "thanks for watching" or something. Or a signed picture of shirtless Saywer, I'm not picky. Anyway, like an hour after Juliet died AGAIN, I was being all quiet and broody and Joe was like:
Joe: ...are you OK?
Me: Yes. I'm just still mad about Juliet.
Joe: Yeah, that wasn't very nice.
Me: It wasn't. WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? It's so mean! And pointless! But mostly mean! Why make her all alive just so she can DIE again and break Sawyer's heart and go be on a stupid dumb show about alien lizards that is stupid and dumb and boring!
Joe: Whoa. How do you know that show's boring, you don't even watch it?
Me: I've seen it! I stopped watching because it's boring!
OK, I totally half-assed this list because the majority of the episode was SO GOOD YOU GUYS SO GOOD but I just wanted to talk about Lost so sue me.