Wednesday 14 April 2010

Don't make me choose.



The rain fell hard on the roofs that day
You telephone from far away
I see the ocean from my room
All I could say was "Are you coming home soon?"


He would call late night, to wake me up so he could sing me to sleep again.

I always liked him better from another time zone.

The static whisper in my ear
But in a moment your voice was clear
"I need some time," you said to me
That's when I knew you were gonna make me lonely.


"Kathy, I love you."

The words came as a surprise, enough to make me pause at the apartment's entrance but not turn around. I took an impatient breath, and without a word, walked out the door.

You're gonna make me wish for the time right before I was born
When every living breath was another new dawn
Like the time I was 5 at the top of Peak Hill
And the wind almost took me away.


The wind whipped my hair into knots as it swirled about the pier, one hand in his and the other trying in vain to tame the tangling strands. We barely spoke a word to each other that afternoon, and never before had the silence said so much.

I walk awhile before I sleep, count the secrets that I keep
I hope for more, I know for sure I fall apart before I weep
I disconnect the telephone, 'cause I can choose to be alone
I'll get more done, I'll have some fun, pretend you're not the only one
.

"What do you want from me?"

"I just want you in my life."

And I'm never gonna wish for the time right before I was born
When every living breath was another new dawn
Like the time I was 5 at the top of Peak Hill
And the wind almost took me away.


I am in love with "On Peak Hill" by a band called Stars.

8 comments:

me said...

You're a Kathy? .. That gave me pause. Not that I like 'know you know you' or anything close..but I never woulda pegged for a Kathy..

..I"m about to get married..and there are days where I just want to disconnect the phone..and choose to be alone..

Really any good reason to get married? even the tax break thing is a lot of work! just saying..
sg

kat said...

i am a kathy to lawyers. kat was deemed too unprofessional.

and i am totally the wrong person to ask about getting married. i never do anything that's good for me.

eclectic said...

Kat = "unprofessional"?!?! (<-- Pls. note emphatic overuse of punctuation.)

Um, okay gods of "professional" nicknames, I guess you know best.

Meanwhile, this is a great song.

Jennie said...

Good song, Kat/Kathy. It always throws me when someone (in stories) calls you Kathy.

kat said...

yeah, me too.

mysterygirl! said...

It also throws me off when your boyfriend calls you Kathy.

Oh, Stars. They are like one big soundtrack for heartache.

kat said...

at family functions he's taken to loudly proclaiming, "I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CALLS HER KATHY." it's annoying.

i'm hoping the new stars album is up with people. i need to get up with people.

matt said...

this is beautiful, kat. and a great song.