Or rather, I don't have time, because I don't know if you know this, but the environment recently exploded (twice) and many people were killed (twice) thanks to companies someone (not me, then) wasn't allowed to do anything about because some POTUS (not this one) was feeding at the corporate trough. But now that the environment has exploded (twice) and someone needs to be accountable (not me), someone's getting his ass handed to him while someone else (me) is playing clean up (me).
I knew tomorrow I had to post about the things I cannot do, and in the random snips of time I've scrapped here and there (literally, on the toilet, in my Moleskine, tmi, twss, etc., etc.) I actually managed a lyrical and moving post about the years I spent between my training wheels coming off and me actually riding a bike. Unfortunately, that Moleskine got left in the backseat of my boss's car somewhere between the Capitol and EPA East. SOOOOOO, long story short (remember Jennie's old blog? It totally ruled. Not that her current blog doesn't rule, because I don't know if you know this or not, but I designed her masthead in those halcyon days when I, you know, had time for the internet and such), but... wait, where was I? (I'm cribbing wifi at this bar where my boss and I are grabbing a quick martini before drafting some more press releases. OMG, I can't believe I just typed that. Somebody punch me.)
OH RIGHT. Long story short (yay!) I couldn't ever ride my bike because I was scared, and then one day years and years later I was all WTF and LITERALLY got on my bike and rode the damn thing. And I rode it HARD. (twss.) Moral of the story: YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT SO LONG AS YOU AREN'T SCARED AND/OR ARE SO DISGUSTED WITH YOURSELF YOU SHAME YOURSELF INTO DOING WHATEVER THE THING IS THAT YOU'RE NOT DOING.
Yeah. So if in the next few days you read some AP articles that quote some completely loony drunko? That's probably me.
HAPPY DRINKO DE MAYO EVERYBODY!