Monday, 24 May 2010

Wherein I drink, post, and then translate soberly

AbsGuess what you guys! It's deuank week drunk week sandpit the collective. Also i. Wfitng tis from my iPad which has crazy afro xurttext auto correct which is way more suggestive than the slut at the bar. Did that worker as a joke? Did you eke. Get the joke? Did yiu even get my point..? No? Well to o bad for you.

Guess what, you guys! It's drunk week at the Collective. Also, I am writing this from my iPad which has crazy auto-correct which is way more suggestive than that slut at he bar. Did that joke work? Did you get the joke? Do you even get my... point? Well, too bad for you.

What im trying to stay is that you known when its hard to type because of te booze?well compound that with a) a keyboard that doesn't have keysssssssssand b) use an auto correct thag assumes hinges from your misspellings. Inn facg just go rad ahead assume that every word speclled cordtecgly thus far and out of olace was suupooosec to. E a divvefdntfsofk.

What I'm trying to say is that you know when it's hard to type because of the booze? Well, compound that wth a) a keyboard that doesn't have keys, and b) uses an auto-correct that assumes [entirely different words] from your misspellings. In fact,just go ahead and assume that every word spelled correct thus far [ed note: so, none] and out of place was supposed to be a different word(s).

Later. When im sober.. Yi might come ba k and try to clean thus post up,, maybe some translations?

Later, when I'm sober I might come back and try and clean this post up, maybe with some translations?

I just finished up an excellent dinner inn Pasasdenawhere we got two bottles of wine we cant accord. We also celebrated the fact that we weren't watching kfist, i wanted cekbratedd--not because i don't like lost but because i wasp mussing something epic and needed to allow that.l oh schukbo' such Rama,

I just finished up an excellent dinner in Pasadena, where we got two bottles of wine we can't afford. We also celebrated the fact that we weren't watching LOST, I wanted to celebrate--not because I don't likeLOST but because I was missing something epic and needed to allow that. Oh Schilbo, such drama.

Thats how i got rink.. Now im msitting in the back of the car g-- a tip i learned from my two-time-DUI brother-- waiti g to sober up and get home.a. How about some hoots ?

That's how I got drunk. Now I'm sitting in the back of the car--a tip I learned from my two-time-DUI brother--waiting to sober up and get home. How about some photos?

Me in the baothromm afthjng drunk
Me in the bathroom drunk:


Mr signeing the I'll with my nickname!!!!
Me, signing the bill with ny nickname instead of my real name [Ed note: I though this was so funny]:


Me writing these post in the backseat
Me writing this post in the backseat:


Me beijgn with coy with my reader
[Ed. note: I can't believe I'm not cutting this sentence] I'm being coy with my reader:

Oh LOOK! THIS PICTURE IS MISSING. THANK GOD.


Oh you guy! Ilovd you!
Oh, you guys! I love you! [Ed note: and really, it's true, I do. Where else on the internet, can I do this, be this, and be accepted as such. I want a big, giant, even-though-I-feel-sober-now group hug.]

8 comments:

Heather Anne said...

My new favorite words in the English language: oh schukbo' such Rama!

Ms Elanious said...

Oh Schilbo... you are so best! Group hug, indeed.

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

I thought iPads were supposed to be so advanced that they would know when you were typing stuff when drunk, would read your mind, then would translate your thoughts into correctly-spelled words in multiple languages just in case you wanted to say something in French or Latin. In reality, it sounds like the iPad's auto-correct is more annoying than Microsoft's.

Amanda Mae said...

Haha I took that last picture and drove home and was the second wine buyer.

AND YET NO MENTION.

Not worthy of a drunk schilbo mention. I will make this my new goal in life.

mysterygirl! said...

Oh, Schilbo. Glad you made it home safe and sound.

Jennie said...

You really are my favorite drunk person ever.

Ashley said...

Signing with "Schilbo" IS hilarious.

peefer said...

You were clearly honestly and genuinely drunk, but I have my suspicions that the iPad made you even more wonderfully so.