I spend a lot of my time telling myself I can't do things. This ranges anywhere from "you can't watch Lost tonight, you don't have time," to "you can't write a book, YOU'RE AWFUL" but suck it brain, I WILL WATCH LOST AND I DID WRITE A BOOK. Ahem. I don't know why I tell myself I can't do things. I may pretend to be totally incompetent most of the time but I know I'm not. It's all a show! And yet, I still have those moments where I just don't believe in myself. Also, I'm really good at coming up with excuses. Like, I will tell you right now that I just CANNOT make myself get out of bed in the morning before I absolutely have to, even though I know in my smart place that I would feel so much better if I worked out before getting ready for work. But I CANNOT do it. So I hit snooze a bunch and vow to work out after work but that's when my excuse-maker really kicks in. Reasons I've used for not running after work include but are not limited to: I'm tired, my legs hurt, it looks like it might rain, I'm too hungry, my tummy feels weird, it's too sunny and it hurts my eyes, my sports bras are dirty, I can't wear shorts because I haven't shaved my legs in eight weeks, there are goose turds all over the sidewalk, there's a coyote loose in the neighborhood, I need to make dinner and I won't have time to both run AND make dinner, that bottle of wine's not going to finish itself, etc.
These are all ridiculous excuses, I know, but they allow me to stay in the Can't Do It place, which is a bad place, to be sure. If I think I can't do something, I'll make up all sorts of excuses. Like last night, I knew I should do my pushups (part of the 100 Pushup Challenge) but I was all, "my arms are too tired because I Shredded and what if my arm muscles fall out of my arms?" because yeah, Jennie, that's something that happens. And I talk myself out of writing in the evenings ALL THE TIME because why write for just an hour? What good is that going to do? I should probably just watch Mad Men instead. And it's like I forgot that I wrote a novel in 30 days by simply writing during my lunch hour every day. I'm in denial about what works because it's just easier to tell myself I can't do something.
Part of the problem, I'm sure, is laziness, but mostly I think I doubt myself too much. "It would be fun to do blank" becomes "You can't do blank," and it doesn't matter if blank is run a marathon or Jake Gyllenhaal, all my brain is thinking is, "I CAN'T, I CAN'T, I CAN'T."
Well, brain, it's time for you to STFU already. I am in a rut, I think, a whiny rut of self doubt and I'm pretty much fed up with it. I'm going to get on the I Think I Can train (yeah, I went there) and Yes, I Can myself out of this rut. Every time I want to do something and think, "I can't," well, I'm going to shame myself until I do it anyway. Even if that something is time travel to 1955 and sing Johnny B. Goode with Marty McFly.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a DeLorean. Or Figment.
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13 comments:
Just remember this: Whether you think you can or you think you can't, there you are. Or something like that.
The most important thing is that you never forget... uh... what was it?... CRAP!
Hello, Collective.
Never forget what? NEVER FORGET WHAAAAT?!
You can do anything, Jennie. Except Jake Gyllenhaal. I would not appreciate that.
What if he's on my list?
...okay.
Joe, you should at least get to punch him first, even if he's on the list.
It's not laziness. It's fear. I have it. I don't know what the hell I'm afraid of though. It can't be fear of failure, because I fail all the time. But I'll let you know if I figure it out.
In the meantime, I'll restart the 100 Pushup Challenge if you do.
..Sorry that I worked with your brain yesterday..in thinking you didnt also embroider!..
I use tons of reasons for not working out. even tho the reasons TO do it are more plentiful.
Julie, doooooo it! Hee. I'm stuck on Week 4. I made it to Week 4, day 3 and had to start doing girly push-ups to make it through five reps. I guess I'll do that day over and over until I can do them all the real way.
Sarah, I need to like laminate a list of "reasons to work out" and carry it around with me all the time. That, or hire Jillian Michaels to follow me around and yell at me.
I love you, Jennie. You make me laugh, and you make me want to be the best me. That's an awfully great talent to have. Please, always use your powers for good though, mmmkay? Also, can I have a ride in the rocketship (duh!)? Thanks.
i'm gonna push up challenge too! because someone's gonna need to protect joe when he punches jake gyllenhaal in the face. dude's got crazy muscles in whatever that commercial was i just saw.
Shari, of course! You can even borrow it whenever you want.
kat, we are gonna be so badass, I can't wait.
I, too, am guilty of playing incompetent at times. But, you know, if we want to do something, we totally can. I demand a photo of you flexing once you've met the 100 Push-up Challenge.
(also, Collective being private = I forget to check sometimes. Sooooorry!)
Did the collective leave us again? :(
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