Hogwarts, a History

Me: I hope no one picks the Harry Potter's Wizarding World of Wonder or whatever it's called for their post this week.
Joe: Why?
Me: Because that's what I want to do.
Joe: What's the topic this week?
Me: Where you'd go with an unlimited travel budget.
Joe: Wouldn't you go to real Hogwarts?
Me: I don't know how to get there. I'm all Muggle-y and don't know where Platform 9 3/4 is.
Joe: Heather Anne could show you, she's magic.
Me: You're such a suck up.
Joe: Why?
Me: You just want me to put that in my post and then Heather will be like, "I love Joe, he's the greetest!"
Joe: ...So?

There are lots of places I'd go with an unlimited travel budget, especially assuming that since I HAVE an unlimited travel budget, I don't have to work anymore which is awesome because working is for suckers. Or for people who like to live, like, inside and not in an alley somewhere. I am one of those people. But I digress.

My first trip would be to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter OBVIOUSLY and I'd use my unlimited travel funds to pay for you all to go, too. Because it wouldn't be as fun without you.

We'd start in Hogsmeade, naturally, because first we need wands. Real wands for real magic. And before we can do real magic, we'll need a pick-me-up, so we'll go to Honeydukes for some Chocolate Frogs, Cauldron Cakes, and Fizzing Whizzbees. If we're feeling adventurous (and of course we are), we'll try some Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans.

Next we'll hit up Zonko's and load our pockets with Extendable Ears, Puking Pastilles, and Fever Fudge. Don't forget to pick up a Sneakoscope, every good wizard needs one. Then we'll go to Dervish and Banges and we'll all get Firebolts. Don't worry about the cost. Unlimited budget, you see.

We'll probably be a bit tired at this point so we'll need to go to the Three Broomsticks for some Butterbeer. Don't drink too much firewhisky, though, we've got lots to do still.

We'll go to the Dragon Challenge next, now that we've gotten some liquid courage. Better bring your Firebolt, just in cases. After we've mastered the Dragon, we'll head to Hagrid's for a Hippogriff lesson and maybe some tea. Careful Fang doesn't drool on your robes.

We'll be pretty tired at this point, so we should probably head to Hogwarts. We'll visit Dumbledore's office and maybe even the Room of Requirement for Dumbledore's Army training. Check your Marauder's Map for Snape and Filch before we head to the kitchens to swipe some snacks, and then we'll go to the Gryffindor common room for a quick rest.

And, you know, if none of that happens, maybe Heather will take us all to real Hogwarts.