Monday, 19 July 2010

Why don't we just forget the "Pig-in-a-Poke" itinerary, and just play it by ear, like normal people?


Looking at a world map is like going to the bookstore: I think I've traveled a lot of places in my 31 years, I think I've read a lot of books — but then I realize there's so much left to see and so much left to read. It kind of makes me want to fall in the floor and have myself a little tantrum because I NEED A TIME-TURNER, DAMMIT! I NEED A TARDIS! I NEED A TIME MACHINE WRAPPED INSIDE A CLEAR TITANIUM BUBBLE. OR A ROCKETSHIP (DUH).

I love to travel. I love everything about it. I love airports and airplanes and trains and buses and taxis. I love living out of a backpack and meeting people and eating weird foods and getting lost and getting found. I love museums and I love National Forests and I love castles and I love cathedrals and I love monuments and I love mountains and I love oceans.

I spend half my life pretending I'm on an episode of Amazing Race, and saying things to my friends and family like, "I know you're hot and tired, but when you snip at me like that, it doesn't make you a very sympathetic contestant."

"A contestant on what?"

"On the Amazing Race?"

"We're not on the goddamn Amazing Race!"

"See, snipping again. America isn't going to root for you."

I went to wherei' this morning to map out, you know, where I've been. And it also gave me the option to say where I want to go. (Also: where I've lived.) So where I've been is blue and where I'm going is green and where I've lived is red.

Now all I gotta do is inherit one gazillion dollars.

And find someone to love this beast while I'm gone.


Joe G. said...

I'll do it! What a cute puppy...

Never That Easy said...

I am not a traveler, but your map is inspiring. (Mine would mostly be green. With one tiny blue dot, and one tiny red.) I do think that pretending you are on the Amazing Race must be a fascinating way to travel.

Jennie said...

Yes, we will watch your adorable puppy for you.

eclectic said...

See all that blue in Washington state? Yeah, um... that's a lie. You haven't been to Wenatchee. You are obligated now, just to keep this whole travel map thing honest. I will await your email to tell me of your soon visit.

Abigail said...

Omg, why do you hate Canada?

linster said...

You need to pack your laptop right now and go to Prince Edward Island. It is one of the top three places I have ever been. If I could've sent for my kitties and my MacBookPro, I'd still be there.

me said...

so by the by, HA, I went to do this too. Then I compared to you..
It appears that I want to see NONE of Russia and China and basically Asia.

While you want to see little of Africa, while I want to see more of it..

So I'll see Africa for you and you can see Asia for me..and we'll compare :) Also. Um. dont hate on PA, we have the Libery Bell and Poconos..