Tuesday, 1 March 2011

Who the hell are you? NOBODY.


There are movies that are so bad they're good. And then there are movies that are so bad they're good they're bad they're good. I mean, they are just that GOOD SLASH BAD. I think the dance genre has an edge since it almost always features dancers instead of actors and because dancers are limitlessly bitchy. Plus also it's hard to make a genuinely compelling dance story hinging on a fake competition (Step Up 3D anyone?) especially without making it a "psychological thriller" full of mental theatrics.

Like there's a movie out right now, Black Swan maybe you've heard of it, about dancing and I just can't muster up the strength to see it because I've seen the trailer and well, Natalie Portman just isn't the best goddamn dancer in the American Ballet Academy. And in that clip where she is crying on the phone telling her mom she got the role? Meh. Maureen Cummings got the role, folks. I was there. I remember. Which is to say: Center Stage takes the (eating-disorder-prop) cake when it comes to terrible movies and dancing movies.

“Have you seen Emily lately? Her pas de deux partner’s going to need a crane to lift her.”

"Cooper, you're an amazing dancer, and you're a great choreographer, but as a boyfriend... you kinda suck."

What a magical piece of cinema.

You should read this awesome piece at TwoP that explores Black Swan vs. Center Stage. The author fails to point out the clear winner, but commenter Betsey proves what truly came first, "The major one you missed which I thought was shot for shot identical to Center Stage was the shoe preparation scene. When they are cutting out the lining, sewing on straps, scoring the soles, etc. IDENTICAL."


Heather Anne Hogan said...

This makes me so happy I can hardly stand it.

Kiti said...

I saw Center Stage on a trans-atlantic plane flight but didn't get the headphones so there was no sound. True story!

Jennie said...

I almost picked this movie but I knew you would pick this movie. Hee.

mysterygirl! said...

That final scene! Ugh, the motorcycle on stage, the gross bed "dancing,"...how do they have time to put her hair in cornrows??? I don't know why, but that gets me every time... I love it. Plus: Eion Bailey! Love him.

Ashley said...

Don't forget about Zoe Saldana! This movie introduced her to the world, and for that I will always love it.