Well, don’t look at me! My hair’s straight! Straight! Straight! Straight!

My hair is straight. When it's down it looks like this:



But it's usually up since it get's in my way when it's down. Then it looks like this:



I feel exactly like myself in both scenarios and I end up just frustrated whenever I stray from these styles. Happy:



Sad:


What's happening with my hair in that picture? Well, I'm trying to grow it out to my normal, comfortable length. Because every few years my mother convinces me to chop my hair off because "it's so cute" short:



And I suppose it is cute. Twenty minutes after it's been cut by a professional and hasn't been swept off my face yet.



See I can't handle it in my peripheral vision, swooping about. So I have to pull it out of my face. And then I look dumb. And not like I how I feel I should look as myself. So every time I chop my hair off I regret it and spend 3 years growing it out again. This last cut though, was super crappy. I've never had a problem growing out these cute short cuts until now. My hair is probably the longest it has ever been... in front. The back half of my hair is a whole different length by about 5 inches. I keep thinking it will get to the point where I'll have it trimmed to all match but I keep being scared of losing the length all together. And then when I think about it this much I start to hate myself cause ew, I'm not someone who cares about my hair. It's straight, it cares about itself.