You've got red on you.

I love scaring myself. I used to go to haunted houses/trails/hayrides every Halloween-season and I will watch scary movies, in the dark, at night, even when I'm home all alone because I'M A SICK SICK PERSON. It's probably because I started reading Stephen King when I was 12 (IT). That would do it.

My most favorite scary movies aren't even that gory, aside from zombie movies, of course, which are just a bad idea to watch ever but least of all late at night and yet when do I watch zombie movies? Late at night. And then I walk Max through our quiet neighborhood, squinting at shadows and plotting my escape should a pack of braineaters come running straight at me. Thank you, zombie movies and The Walking Dead, for fueling my waking nightmares.

When I was but a wee child, I was terrified of gremlins of any kind, whether they were supposed to be funny or crawled into your room through your wall at night to steal your breath or escaped from hell from a hole in your backyard. I was convinced that they lived under my bed and would jump out and attack me as soon as I fell asleep, or that they'd grab my feet should I step on the floor too close to the bed.

So I've traded gremlins for zombies which seems like a more realistic fear because I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS, zombies could happen, rage or otherwise.

I can remember the specific times I first saw my most memorable scary movies. Where I was. Who was with me. Etcetera etcetera. 

1. Scream

This came out when I was in high school, I think, and my friend Erica (daughter of my dad's BFF) and I used to watch it over and over whenever my parents would take us to visit her parents. Her brother Joe would then dress up in his Scream costume and terrify my sister. One time she called 911 but I think it was unrelated.

2. Shaun of the Dead

OK, so this one isn't scary but it's my favorite zombie movie. I watched this at my parents' house while house-sitting one weekend, right after watching Open Water, and that night I had dreams about zombie sharks.

3. The Mothman Prophecies

I watched this alone, at night, in my parents' basement with all of the lights turned off. I haven't seen it since but I remember it filling me with an overwhelming sense of unease so I turned all the lights on halfway through the movie.

4. 28 Days Later

I watched this in college with some friends, all of us crammed into our small apartment's living room. It was a cool spring evening and the only reason I mention the weather is because, since it was so nice out, we had our screen door open. A good ways into the movie, after all of us shrieking and jumping at several points, one of my roommates returned home, bursting through the screen door and causing all of us to pee our pants because we thought maybe she was a zombie. 

5. The Strangers

I think I've documented this before but Heidi and I went to see this movie primarily so we could partake in the movie theater's legendary 123Go boxes, which were glorified happy meals (you got a small popcorn, candy, and an icee for like five dollars! It doesn't exist anymore). THIS IS THE MOST TERRIFYING MOVIE EVER. Heidi spent most of it watching it through her fingers or hiding her face but I was too afraid to take my eyes off the screen because WHAT IF THEY JUMPED INTO THE THEATER AND KILLED US.

6. Zodiac

You guys. This entire case scares the shit out of me because it's still unresolved. I watched this with Joe and didn't sleep all night, sure that the Zodiac killer was going to burst into the apartment and kill us both. You know what else I don't recommend? Reading the book right before bed.

7. Let the Right One In

I watched this with Joe, at night obviously, and am now scared of small children because WHAT IF THEY'RE VAMPIRES. Spoilers.

8. Pet Sematary

I watched this for the first time with my friend Erica (see Scream above) at her parents' house, which was a big house out in the country, and I was convinced that a zombie cat or child could crawl out of the woods at any moment. Also, WTF was up with Zelda? She gave me nightmares. See THIS for further reading.

9. The Mist

I saw this with Heidi in the cheap theater. I spent most of the movie crawling out of my skin and wanting to punch Marsha Gay Harden's character in the face and then the end came and I wanted to kill myself.

10. The Shining

Jesus. I watched this one in my parents' basement, alone, AGAIN with the lights turned off, and when I finished watching it, I went upstairs to find a bunch of weird bugs crawling all over the foyer floor.


Stephen King should really get his own category and it should probably be called: Why Jennie Is Like This.

Anyway, if you have any scary movie suggestions, I would love to hear them in case I feel like not sleeping some night.