Tuesday, 1 April 2008

punching is kind of a talent of mine

Spencer Pratt
Spencer Pratt is an evil genius featured on MTV's "reality" show The Hills. Spencer Pratt is the most manipulative person on television. Spencer Pratt steals your babies, kills your puppies, and eats kittens. Spencer Pratt smarms his way into your life.

Spencer entered the scene on season two of the show after seeing season one and deciding that he could get famous by dating one of the girls. So, oh-so-smoothly, he tries dating two of the stars at once. This backfires, eventually, but not before he has wooed Heidi, a former protagonist, into believing his lies. He has since carried on a long-term relationship with Heidi. He manipulates her and treats her like shit. He has changed her. He has turned her against all her friends. And he spreads sex tape rumors and denies it. I hate him so much. Also, so does the rest of the United States. If punching was acceptable behavior, he would so be dead.

Morning Show hosts and talk radio personalities
These people try so hard to appeal to so many different bases that the end up being crazy people. Trying to please everybody pushes them into a box and they act like lunatics, say stupid things, and alienate all around them. They breed ignorant people who try to emulate their behavior. They abandon truth simply so they can justify the one thing they think is true. They make everything personal, they keep nothing business, and they don't even know what business means. They are the opposite of tact.

If the subject matter is political in any way then multiply punches by 100.

Douchebags would have dated my friends and totally didn't deserved them and then fucked it up.
Earlier this year, before this topic was ever on the table, a friend and I were shooting the breeze and discussing people we'd like to punch. My list was almost all people who had wronged my friends. With my own problems I tend to rationalize and emotionalize, but when it's my friends getting shredded I get violent. I get rage. I imagine scenarios wherein I use my fake martial art skills to bring someone DOWN.

Don't mess with my friends. I will roundhouse punch your face.

Dolores Umbridge

Lady, I hate you in all the ways.

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