Straight A's.

Boyohboy was this the easiest and the toughest assignment ever. I thought I might be flippant about it, populate this list with the likes of Bon Jovi's Slippery When Wet and New Kids on the Block's Hangin' Tough (both albums that do in fact mean quite a bit to me, particularly that part in "Never Say Goodbye" when Jon Bon Jovi wails, "We danced so close, we danced so slow, and I swore I'd never let you goooooo!"), but alas, I take myself far too seriously for my own good.

So instead I made you a Muxtape of my favorite songs from some of my favorite albums, and it kind of hurt me a little bit to do it. (I don't read one or two chapters of a book I read THE ENTIRE book and so I don't just listen to one or two songs from an album I listen to THE ENTIRE album. Ahem.)

Here we go:

1. Black Love by The Afghan Whigs



When I decided that no thank you I do not want to go to the University of Florida with my high school boyfriend, he decided to go to the University of Kentucky instead. And also he decided to take another girl to the prom. And that is when this album became my WHO FUCKING NEEDS BOYS ANYWAY? album, the album I listened to after every tortuous breakup, the album that reminded me BOYS ARE DUMB.

2. Pinkerton by Weezer



They say it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. They are full of shit. I wouldn't wish unrequited love on my very worst enemy, and for most of my college years I weeped from the agony of love unrequited. And when I wasn't weeping, I was listening to this album on repeat and singing "El Scorcho" very very loudly. (Alex can certainly attest to this). Oh the days I spent pining away for my next-door neighbor, singing to the wall between our rooms and wondering when he was finally going to see me. And really, all along I was in love with his roommate but didn't realize it, and by the time I figured it out of course it was too late. Pinkerton explains exactly the reason why nineteen-year-olds should not be entrusted with hearts on fire.

3. Heartbreaker by Ryan Adams



Fuck, where do I start? "Call Me On Your Way Back Home" is the saddest sad song that was ever ever written. Fuck. I can't even talk about it.

4. Chutes Too Narrow by The Shins.



The Shins changed my life (heh) and I am hard pressed to pick just one of their three very awesome, very different albums for this list. But Chutes Too Narrow ultimately wins out because it is the home of "Young Pilgrims," the one song of all the songs ever written in the history of songwriting that could have been written just for me.

5. Boxer by The National



For countless reasons great and small 2007 was a very hard year, harder than all those years I had cancer, harder than the year my father broke my retainer but thankfully not my jaw, harder than having to bear all of those boys telling me they were in love with me, but they didn't want me. (Douchebags. I date them.) Boxer is the album that got me through 2007. This is the album that means more to me than you will ever ever know.