Thursday, 30 October 2008
The Great Wiener Mystery: Part IV
[Part I, Part II, Part III]
The dinghy hovered in mid-air and Danny lurched forward to grab the purple bag of candy corn. The three animals shared a quick look before the dinghy zoomed away, into the dark. They grasped the edges of the boat and closed their eyes.
"Where are we going?" Bartleby shouted over the wind.
"I think I know!" shouted Danny.
"Will there be pie?" asked Tomás.
The boat came to an abrupt stop, throwing the friends into the air. They landed in a pile in front of a small patch of dirt and grass that was surrounded by miles and miles of sand.
"What do we do now?" Bartleby gulped.
"We bury the candy corn," Danny stated. "Right here in this grass."
"What?!" shouted Tomás. "Bury perfectly good candy? Are you crazy?"
"You have to trust me," said Danny.
"I trust you!" Bartleby exclaimed. Danny and the grinning cat looked hopefully at Tomás.
"Of COURSE I trust you, I just want some candy," sighed Tomás. "There's pie everywhere! And I'm not allowed to eat any! I JUST WANT SOME FOOD." Bartleby and Danny took a step back.
"How about we don't bury all of the candy," suggested Bartleby.
"Excellent idea," said Danny. "I'll start digging."
The trio dug deep into the ground, pulling out wet dirt and piling it behind them. When the hole was deep enough, Danny poured half of the candy corn into the hole, and filled the it with the displaced dirt. They patted the dirt to pack it down and sat back. Soon the ground started to rumble. They backed away as a small plant erupted from the ground, growing bigger and bigger, stretching and reaching for the sky. Danny, Bartleby, and Tomás craned their necks, but could no longer see where the giant plant ended.
"What IS that?" asked Danny.
"Ooh, I know!" said Tomás. "It's a bean stalk!"
"No," said Bartleby. "It's a pumpkin stalk. And I have a bad feeling about what's up top."
They looked at each other, shrugged, and started climbing. When they reached the top, they all flopped on the ground to catch their breath. That's when the ground started shaking. They jumped up and looked around them. They'd climbed into a huge room with an orange and white checkered floor. A giant piece of candy corn was propped up in the corner, decorated like a Christmas tree.
"FEE FIE FOE FUM! I SMELL THE CANDY OF SOME PIRATE SCUM!" a voice bellowed. The animals ran and hid behind the Candy Corn tree as the ground started shaking harder than ever. The three shivered with fear.
"RAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRR!" the voice growled, and then they saw it. The most horrifying specter ever spectated. A giant pumpkin was lumbering toward them, like the Koolaid man but not as friendly, his arms spread wide and his terrible teeth gnashing in anticipation. He stopped in the middle of the room and looked all around him.
"I know you're here," he said. "Show yourself."
Danny turned to face his newfound friends. He reached into the purple bag, took out the remainder of the candy corn, and gave it to Tomás. Tomás looked at him with wide eyes and Danny nodded, then jumped out of their hiding place into plain view of the pumpkin monster.
"Here I am!" shouted Danny. The monster turned to face him.
"Hmm," said the pumpkin. "I expected someone less wiener-like."
"Well . . . too bad," said Danny. "Are you the Great Pumpkin?"
"Indeed I am! Are you a fan?" asked the Great Pumpkin.
"Ha!" shouted Danny.
"Is that a no? It doesn't matter. I'll have to eat you now, as well as any friends or candy you have with you."
"I have no friends or candy!"
"How bothersome," said the Great Pumpkin. "Any last requests?"
"Could you let me go?" asked Danny.
"Well, I had to try," said Danny.
"Of course. Let's get this over with," said the Great Pumpkin, and walked toward Danny.
"Not so fast!" shouted Bartleby, as he ran behind his friend. "WE are here, too!"
"We?" asked the Great Pumpkin. Danny and Bartleby looked to the tree, where Tomás was bent over his paws, nibbling something.
"Tomás!" shouted Bartleby. "Did you eat the candy corn?" Tomás looked up guiltily and nodded. Danny smiled.
"Now you're in for it," he laughed. They all turned to Tomás, who was grasping his stomach.
"I don't feel so good," he said. His whiskers were getting longer. His ears and paws were getting bigger. And then suddenly he shot up, taller than both the Great Pumpkin and the Candy Corn tree.
"Whoa," said the Great Pumpkin. "That is the biggest mouse I have ever seen."
"I AM NOT A MOUSE!" yelled Tomás and stalked up to the Great Pumpkin. "I am a RAT!" He bent down and picked up the Great Pumpkin with his giant paws, twirled him around his head like he'd seen the wrestlers do on TV, and tossed him in the air. When the Great Pumpkin came down, he rolled to the edge of the giant room, teetering over the precipice toward the dark ground below.
"Help!" he shouted. "Save me! I'll be good, I promise!"
"I don't think so," said Bartleby, and the little non-fraidy cat gave the pumpkin one last push. "See you in Hell." The Great Pumpkin slipped over the edge and fell out of his sky-high house.
"Wow, Bartleby," said Danny. "You're kind of scary."
"Yeah," said Tomás.
They climbed down the pumpkin stalk to the ground, stepping around the pumpkin guts littering the area, and were surprised to see the Dread Pirate Roberta looking down at them from the helm of her ship.
"I see you've taken care of my problem," she said. "Thank ye."
"No problem!" said Danny. "Can we become part of your crew now?"
"I always keep my promises," she answered. "Only Tomás there will have to wait until he shrinks back to normal size before he climbs aboard."
"When will he shrink?" asked Bartleby.
"Should be just a few minutes," said Dread Pirate Roberta. "How about some pie while we wait?