Thursday, 26 November 2009

And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.

Jennie It being Thanksgiving and all, I doubt many of you are reading this right now. And if you are, you should go back to eating mashed potatoes and turkey and pie and stuffing and stuff. Although. Maybe you already did that and you're SO FULL that you couldn't possibly eat another bite. Is that it? I understand that. There's nothing more uncomfortable than eating so much that it feels like you swallowed a watermelon whole and then you think burping might help but you're afraid to burp because OMG what if you accidentally throw up? That would be embarrassing, say, if you were meeting your significant other's parents for the first time. "Oh, hello, nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. So and So, no I couldn't possibly eat another bite, no, seriously, I mean it, DON'T GIVE ME ANYMORE DAMN FOOD BAAAAAAAARF." See? Embarrassing.

And I don't know your family or anything, but my family? Would never let me live it down if I barfed over Thanksgiving dinner. I mean, with good reason. If one of them puked on the turkey, I'd bring it up all the time.

Anyway, my point is that it's totally sad when there's still so much food to eat but you can't eat anymore without throwing up everywhere. This is why someone needs to invent a pill that you can take before you start eating Thanksgiving dinner and taking this pill means YOU'LL NEVER GET FULL. But it has to wear off eventually, otherwise you'd keep eating and eating and eating (because you're still hungry!) until your stomach exploded and honestly? That's not any more attractive than throwing up on your relatives.

Or. OR! Someone should invent a teleporter. I know this has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, I just want one.

In conclusion, don't be this guy:

Happy Thanksgiving, Internets!

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