Monday, 3 May 2010

I'm going to EGOT

AbsThere are a lot of things I can't do I mean, a lot. I can't play sports or run fast or cut on a straight line. I can't smoke or remember my credit card number or put my contacts in correctly on the first try. I can't keep my thoughts to myself or pretend to listen when you're being an idiot or even accept (or deny) Facebook friend requests in a timely manner.

I'm mostly okay with all of that.

But there are a few things I wish I could do that I can't, and it breaks my heart.

You know the triple threat? The acting, singing, dancing performer? I wish that was me. I wish that was me so hard. But I have no rhythm and I have no tone. I can't clap to a beat, skip in a line, or do basic gymnastics. I love every single dance movie, I love SYTCD and American Idol. I listen to pop radio and know the lyrics to every Taylor Swift song. BUT IT WILL NEVER BE ME.

Some days I feel ready to trade in all my other talents if I could just have those. That is who I am on the inside, I swear.

And so I wait, for some sort of miracle, for the voices I hear in my head to be things I can actually sing with my voice. I wait for some sort of miracle that would allow me to take an aerobics class and actually get a work out instead of being hopelessly lost. Or maybe I can wait for a new technology, that makes my inside performer actually translate. That could happen, right?

8 comments:

Jennie said...

I feel your pain. Every time Joe sings on Rock Band I want to punch him in the throat because he's all good and I'm all...not.

scott said...

I can sing and act. (I've never tried to dance.) But, I never do it. Also I can't stand pop music or radio or American Idol and I don't even know what SYTYCD is. We should totally trade talents, if that technology ever gets invented.

Hello, Collective.

me said...

You are whatever YOU believe you are.. and those who love you, will see that you really are a ROCKSTAR!

maybe its so that you can direct OTHER people in the correct way to DO the triple threat, eh?!

I promise to listen, applaud and say you're the best at the next Collective Talent Show. I'll even demand an encore :) (also.. i really think i'm a painter.. but i can barely do art)

Ms Elanious said...

I can sing and act, but I'm a frog in a blender on a dance floor.

I don't sing or act anymore, which sort of makes me sad... but gee, I sure attend a lot of my kids' music and dance lessons, classes, concerts, recitals and shows. Just in case someday they wish they could be you.

Iron Fist said...

I have such a horrible singing voice but I really wish I could sing. I sing along with the radio but only when I'm by myself because I sound so, so bad.

I feel you on this one.

Heather Anne said...

Dude. Sarah G pegged you so hard: maybe its so that you can direct OTHER people in the correct way to [fill in the blank].

peefer said...

I'm a pornstar at heart, but a long time ago, I married and engaged in the quiet family life instead. So, you know, I know exactly what you're saying about thwarted dreams, dear Abs. Also, my penis is of average size ... probably not great on camera.

mysterygirl! said...

I think there will, one day, be an app for that.

When the windows are rolled up and we're driving down the highway, we're all singers, really.