Monday, 11 April 2011

The Proust Questionnaire


What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Being snuggled under my covers on a stormy Saturday with a delicious book. (And my puppies.)

What is your greatest fear?
There isn't a day that goes by in which I don't imagine some horrific, implausible scenario that rips Jenn and Amy and Hogan from my life.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
The earnest, affable, self-taught, highly ineffective Martin Van Buren.

Which living person do you most admire?
JK Rowling

What is the trait you deplore most in yourself?
I am paralyzed by a fear of failure AND a fear of success, which means I spend most of my life swearing at myself in the mirror.

What is the trait you deplore most in others?
Lack of empathy.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Fancy dog things for two dogs whose favorite pastimes include rolling around in carcases and eating their own poop.

On what occasion do you lie?
Do you want to see me lie? Corner me and ask me if I'm in love with you: "... yes? Yes. Of course. Of course." (Spoiler alert: No, I'm not.)

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My lazy left eye.

When and where were you happiest?
The gloriously naive months when I’d finished my last accounting job and hadn’t yet signed a writing contract with a deadline attached to it. (I spent much of that time frolicking gaily around Europe drinking beer.)

If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
I’d remember what it’s like to have a keen sense of purpose that makes me come alive like fire.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Those rare moments when bursts of courage and cleverness and compassion collide and I am able to write something that helps other people feel less alone, less lonely.

If you died and came back as a person or thing what do you think it would be?
If you are what you eat, I’d be reincarnated as a half order of El Sombrero Texas Fajita Nachos (no onions, extra peppers).

What is your most treasured possession?
The books my grandmother makes for me.

What do you regard as the lowest depths of misery?
Clinical depression.

Who are your heroes in real life?
JK Rowling, Haven Kimmel, Barbara Kingsolver, Neville Longbottom, Jacob Clifton, Bryan Elsley, Kate Di Camillo, Rachel Maddow, Leslie Knope.

What is it you most dislike?
Myopia in all its poisonous forms.

How would you like to die?
Saving someone I love.

What is your motto?
Honey badger don’t give a shit.


eclectic said...

See, but I AM a little bit in love with you, so you're just going to have to deal with it. (Also, I'm so glad Neville made the real-life list, because if Harry Potter isn't real life, there isn't any real life.)

Jennie said...

Man, I wish I could Leslie Knope my shit together.

Did that even make sense? I'm pretty tired today.

Heather Anne Hogan said...

Oh, I'm in love with YOU, Shari. I just mean if someone corners me and emotionally manipulates me, I'll fold and be like, "Yes, of COURSE I love you." And then I'll feel like I'm drowning and then it'll be over.

Jennie, yes. That made perfect sense."I can't kill the possum, 'cause it might be innocent. I can't let the possum go, 'cause it might be guilty. Can't make a good soup. Can't do a handstand in a pool. Can't spell the word lieutenant. There are a lot of can'ts in my life right now."

Ashley said...

God, myopia is such a shithead. Also, that feeling you get when you have SO MUCH TO DO and SO MANY THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT that you get kind of paralyzed and you stop caring and then you just crawl into bed and watch Angel all day.

Heather Anne Hogan said...

Boy do I ever know that feeling. Did I mention I'm rereading Potter for the one millionth time? In my bed? With my covers over my head?

Ashley said...

How can you breathe under there?

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

We deplore exactly the same traits in ourselves. Actually, we seem to be a lot alike in a lot of astonishing ways, aside from the lazy eye and ownership of poop-eating dogs. My dogs are almost too well behaved. I sometimes yell at them about MISSING OUT ON LIFE and SHOULDN'T YOU BOTH BE DESTROYING SOMETHING RIGHT NOW?