Tesla is the electric Jesus

 

 What is your idea of perfect happiness?

I'm pretty simple so it would be this:

Sometimes Joe and I aren't home on Thursdays to watch our stories so, if we don't get to them on Friday, we'll wake up on Saturday morning, make breakfast (eggs and toast or cereal and toast, MAYBE EVEN WAFFLES), and sit in our pajamas and watch Community, The Office, Parks and Rec, 30 Rock, and Archer until it's early afternoon, at which point we might shower and get dressed, but maybe we'll watch more TV, who knows?

Soon after we started dating, we were sitting at my apartment watching something on TV or a movie, I don't remember, and we each had our laptops out and were working on who knows what between taking breaks to giggle over nothing and I realized at that moment that that's all I really needed. Someone who made doing nothing feel like doing something.

And now Max curls up on our laps while we watch TV, so what could be better than that?

 What is your greatest fear?

Zombies, DUH.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Nikola Tesla.

(not really, I just wanted an excuse to post that video)

Which living person do you most admire?

Hermione Granger.

What is the trait you deplore most in yourself?

I never finish anythi

What is the trait you deplore most in others?

Whining, which is ridiculous, because I whine all the time.

What is your greatest extravagance?

I'm kind of a miser, so I can't even think of anything.

On what occasion do you lie?

Pretty much never, as I am a terrible liar.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?

I think we, and by we, I mean LADIES, spend way too much time disliking way too much about our appearances, so I'm not playing this game and you can't make me.

When and where were you happiest?

I was pretty happy around this time:




If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

I wish I had more self-discipline. Like, any, really.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

The Evil Summer.

If you died and came back as a person or thing what do you think it would be?

I love this question. I'm not very religious, but I choose to believe that the afterlife is going to be fucking awesome. I hope it's either like Defending Your Life and you get to eat all you want and wear comfortable robes before (hopefully) moving on WHATEVER THAT MEANS. Or I hope it's like Vegas (wait for it) and you, like, play the slot machines to see who you're going to be reincarnated as while people bring you free drinks. That doesn't sound that awesome (except for the free drinks) but what if the afterlife is like a time machine and you can be reincarnated as Cleopatra or whatever and it's like, when you were alive, she was already dead but really she hadn't even lived yet because OH WAIT NOW YOU'RE BEING REINCARNATED AS HER.

What was the question?

What is your most treasured possession?

I have this stuffed bear that I've had since I was but a wee baby. It's green, I think it's a generic Carebear or something, but I've had it forever and I will never, ever get rid of it. I used to call it my Dabbledoo because I couldn't say bear. Because Dabbledoo is way easier to say than bear.

What do you regard as the lowest depths of misery?

My current job...oh, ZING.

Who are your heroes in real life?

Calvin and Hobbes. Or maybe Bill Watterson would be a better answer:

“Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential - as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth. You’ll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them.” - Bill Watterson

What is it you most dislike?

Small talk. I hate small talk, mostly because it seems like such a waste of time. Let's not talk about how hot or cold or rainy or snowy or windy it is today. And I don't want to talk to you, casual acquaintance, about my job, and I don't want to hear about your job unless you're a lion tamer or something. Can't we talk about something important? Like how much we cried during Toy Story 3? Or how you felt about the end of Lost? Or whether it will be slow-moving zombies or fast, rage zombies who bring about the end of the world?

How would you like to die?

Avada Kedavra. That's quick, right? Plus, MAGICAL.

What is your motto?                

A few years ago, my friends and I decided to live by the motto: WHATEVA, I DO WHAT I WANT. That was a fun year. The next year we chose: NO REGRETS. I think the next year it had something to do with saying yes to everything unless it would end in our violent deaths (and yet I still tried Internet dating, so there you go). We haven't done that the past couple of years, but today I woke up with Hakuna Matata stuck in my head, and that seems as good a motto as any.