Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Feast your ear tongues on these memory pops!

This week's Collective topic is: List five things you're good at, which is kind of a conundrum for me. For one thing, I have a really hard time in general talking about things I do well. But in this weird way where I weave a lie about the opposite thing being true. Like, my family spent their whole lives thinking I was the kind of person who burns down the house every time I step into the kitchen, until one day at a family dinner, Amy was just like, "Oh, my God, you guys, Heather is a really good cook! I don't know why she pretends like she's not, but I can't listen to this nonsense anymore!"

And if I'm not concocting stories about sucking (which: I do suck a pretty good bit of the time), I just won't tell things because I don't want anyone to think I'm bragging, My ability to say nice things about myself is inversely proportional to the successes I'm having in my life. If my career is going swimmingly, you won't hear a peep out of me unless I'm doing twatty social media business. It's like I feel like I need to apologize maybe? Because I know so many more people who deserve the success more than me? Or I just don't want to come off as some kind of arrogant prick like the Heather Hogan basketball player of yore? I don't know. And also, another reason I have a hard time talking about things at which I excel is because I'm really, really hard on myself and I know I could always be doing better. (Unless I do my very best. In which case I'm like, "Oh God, that was my best. I'll never match it no matter how hard I try. It's all downhill from here. WAAAHHHH!")

Even now I'm stalling because I don't want to tell you five things.

OK, here I go.

Deep breath.

1) I am a really fucking excellent sister.

2) I am pretty funny TV recapper.

3) I make delicious homemade pizza and brownies.

4) I have above-average hand-eye coordination (even though I'm very clumsy).

5) I'm awesome at pets. My pets. Your pets. Anyone's pets. Children and animals love me.

Hey, look, an animal who loves me:

LOL, Nala, what are you doing?


Ashley said...

You are the best recapper.

Jennie said...

It's like I feel like I need to apologize maybe? Because I know so many more people who deserve the success more than me?

The fact that you think this when you talk about the awesome stuff you do means you'll never sound like an arrogant prick. I wish you'd talk more about when things are going well for you, because you deserve for things to always go well.

Also, that picture of Nala made me LOL but I'm not really sure why.

kat said...

You are also a really fucking excellent friend, friend.