The Matthew Crawley penis situation.

My family's on-ramp to the information superhighway was opened in 1995, a year you might remember as my junior year of high school. I, however, remember it as the year Mike Krzyzewski (spelled entirely from memory, after all this time) took a leave of absence from his coaching duties following back surgery. And I remember this because I used my internet driver's license for one thing and one thing only: scouring the Duke University men's basketball message boards.

There is literally nothing else to say about this.

I'm hardly online at all these days; I try to catch up on the day's news, read (if not comment on) whatever you all have written, skim the recaps of whatever television programs I happened to watch the night before. Mostly it seems I just want to build a blanket fort, crawl inside with my Kindle and hide out for a while. Which, of course, I can't do; I've got hockey tickets and dinner reservations and parties to attend, not to mention that Winston would likely destroy any blanket fort within minutes of its construction. What a tiny jerk.