Forget the advice I wish I'd received earlier in life; what I need is advice RIGHT FUCKING NOW. About what? ABOUT EVERYTHING. To wit:Am I really expected to wait until TWENTY FUCKING THIRTEEN for new episodes of Downton Abbey? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT? I will literally explode without more Downton Abbey. DOWNTON ABBEY.
What am I going to do if/when The Hunger Games sucks? My entire future happiness depends entirely on this movie. I'm serious. If it sucks, I will never be happy again waaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Should I give Winston a baby sister? What if he doesn't like her? What if she stresses him out and into an early grave?
(this one is for Arlene)
How do I stop showing up to work looking like a hobo?
How do I make that fancy apricot kugel everyone keeps talking about?
What should I read next?
Who's on first?
Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.
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7 comments:
I HAVE SO MANY OF THESE SAME WORRIES!
1. Downton over? NOOOOOOOO!
2. If the Hunger Games is terrible, I will crawl into a hole with my Hunger Games books and never come out.
3. I want to get Max a dog but what if they don't like each other?
So what I'm saying is, I am absolutely no help.
Well at least I'm not the only one :)
You should run, not walk, to the nearest used book store, scramble up to the counter, and scream, 'I NEED THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER AND CLAY, STAT!', because I think it's the kind of book that would make you happy to hunker down in a big chair and read until you're blind.
Apricot kugel? YES PLEASE!
(also, Winston belly!)
WINSTON TUMMY.
I think you should get Winston a sister. Even though he might try to kill her, he will like her in the end. Hal is much happier with Lily around for company. It's so cute when they cuddle.
Although, last night he decided to try to kill her and she freaked out and jumped on top of me for protection while I was sleeping, and when I tried to extract her, she dug her claw into my thumb and IT HURT and I bled a lot. I was pretty mad. Anyway.
That story probably didn't do a lot to convince you, but as long as you introduce them the right way, Winston should get a long with a new kitty.
If it helps, a friend of a friend's son just saw Star Wars for the first time and said that when he grows up he wants to be like Only One Cannoli.
And I look like a hobo every day and I'm still employed, so, whatevs.
I, for one, think showing up for work looking like a hobo should be applauded. You could start a new trend: Direlicte Chic.
(Also, I'm not sure if you've already read them and/or already possess strong feelings either way, but I highly recommend the Percy Jackson series. #GreekMythologynerdeportingforduty #alsononsensehashtagging)
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