Jennie! mentioned earlier in the week that she was having a hard time picking exactly which of many embarrassing moments to document for Ashley this week, and I have to say I'm having pretty close to the same problem. You see, I'm super clumsy and I drink a lot and so NATURALLY I fall down and do stupid things and trouble make and all the stuff that posts about embarrassment are made of, but--and here's the problem--I'm not embarrassed by any of it. In fact, I should really have gotten any number of my friends to write this post for me, about what an embarrassment I am to THEM.
And then I thought I might copy Abigail! and write about all the sad sack pining over boys who never once gave me the time of day, or worse, gave me the time of day and disappeared forever and ever amen, but that would require copying Heather! Anne! and flipping through old high school and college journals and meh, boys are overrated anyway.
So I sort of met everyone round about the middle somewhere and mined the i hate kit kats media empire archives for these gems.
This is about the time I got drunk and ripped my pants scaling some construction scaffolding, and then ditched my handsome boyfriend so I could hang out with his friends all weekend.
And here is the photographic proof.
This is the time when I went to a Super Bowl party and only knew, like, two people there and got into a screaming match with one of the idiot guests and then later we were doing eXtreme bike tricks in the living room and Dave smashed through the glass coffee table and we tried to cover it all up with a blanket before running off to a bar.
This is about the time I (loudly) announced to the entire New Orleans art community that I had no idea what an uncircumcised penis looks like.
This is about shenanigans across the pond, which totally included this:
(I do not remember this.)
This is about the time I got into a fight with a banana.
This and this and this and this are about some of the crazy ass shit that comes out of my mouth.
This is about shenanigans in Syracuse.