Sunday, 29 March 2009

When you care enough to hit send

heather This week we're going to be talking about our favorite thing in the world: the Internets! Even better, we're talking about our favorite places on our favorite thing in the world, which is kind of tricky for all of us here at Collective HQ because we spend half our lives workdays on the Web -- so we have lots of love.

I'm usually really good at favorites, but picking my best places on the Internets is super hard. It's like choosing your favorite baby, if babies were AWESOME. There are the places I use so often, I'd actually die if they went away (IMDB, YouTube, Wackopedia). There are my favorite news places (NYT, WaPo). And then there's my Google Reader. (From your 100 subscriptions, over the last 30 days you read 3,263 items, starred 6 items, shared 22 items, and emailed 7 items).

The two places I'm talking about today are special because: a) they always make me laugh loudly. And b) They are the only two places I consistently go out of my Google Reader to read.

someecards - for when you care enough to hit send

Television Without Pity

“You have any Kopi Luwak back there?”

‘Nuff said. I mean seriously, this is not even a conversation, it’s just a postcard from the writing staff to you that goes, “Hey there, Upper East Siders, just to let you know: as much as you hate Dan and Vanessa, nothing on this show has prepared you for the bullshit that is Lexi. Here are fifteen signifiers of her horribleness, which is so extradimensionally intense that we can’t even communicate it in words or concepts your puny human minds could conceptualize. She’s like the Chthulu of … bitches. So instead here are some words that will help you visualize the impossible vileness of her. Kopi Luwak. Which she drank in Indonesia.”

- Jacob, TWoP American Idol Recap

“Elena is walking down a street in Queens. She has a basket of groceries, which I am delighted to report has a loaf of French bread sticking out of it. Bags of groceries in movies and television shows always have French bread in them. I can only assume that if you eat French bread, your life will instantly become much more dramatic.”

- Montykins, TWoP Ugly Betty Recap

“My Amy Sedaris dream jobs are actually: Macy’s Holiday Giftwrapper and/or Build-A-Bear Workshop Attendant. God, I love that place. It’s where dreams are born! Little kids taking spooky empty furry skins and force-blowing plastic pellets into them! To create life! I am obsessed with that shit. If they’d had Build-A-Bear when I was age-appropriate I would have blown my every cent on that, I know it. To the degree that I would also settle for Dater of a Build-A-Bear Workshop Attendant, just to be able to say, “Gotta split, my boyfriend Ricky Braddy gets off at Build-A-Bear in a half-hour.”

- Jacop, TWoP American Idol Recap
If you are a good person, you'll send a someecard to someone you love right this very second.

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