Now I know there is some debate as to which house (into which) I would be sorted (into)*, but make no mistake about it, if I were a witch I'd be Slytherin. You may think differently because the internet is kind and good and thinks the best of everybody, but I know my own heart and I am as selfish as the day is long, I am as spiteful as the night is dark, and I hate people more than anything on God's increasingly brown and disgusting Earth. I am Slytherin, but I am no supporter of Voldemort.
There. I said it.
Listen, the fact of the matter is that were I to live in the book(s) of Harry Potter, chances are very likely I'd be no witch at all. I am muggle material through and through, or more likely squib, relegated to the ranks of the overlooked, the unwanted, always looking in at what I so desperately want but will never ever have. And it sucks. But it's my lot in life; it's not a lot, but it's life.**
Some other things that suck:
- Quills. If wizards would just use a goddamned pen like everyone else, ink wouldn't be running all over everybody's junk all the time.
- Lumos. The tip of one's wand never seems to light up more than a tiny circle around one's feet. You want to see in the dark? Use a flashlight.
- Platform 9 3/4. The wall is halfway between platforms 9 and 10. Whence the 3/4?
*Help me, Sister Bernadette!
**What the hell is this from?