At first, I was worried about posting all the illegal things I've done because my parents read this. But then I realized they know about the ALLEGED underage drinking and the ALLEGED streaking of The Hollow when I lost my bra (being naked outside is illegal, right?) and the ALLEGED speeding and that time Mary and I ALLEGEDLY set a tiny fire in the parking lot of our apartment complex and got caught by a security guard on a bike and when I ALLEGEDLY climbed the fence to go swimming and that time I ALLEGEDLY ran through like three tollbooths in Chicago (I WAS LATE TO A WEDDING I HAD TO). So, you know, that's no big deal. But what if someone from work finds this? I'd better keep my mouth shut.
Here's this, though:
This may or may not have belonged to the Pubic Public Library.