Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Heidi and Spencer are the worst

AbsThose of you who don't know who Heidi and Spencer must have a really good filter. Because they have dominated magazine covers and headlines for years FOR NO REASON. I know a lot about them because they star on one of my favorite TV shows, The Hills. I'm not going to get into why The Hills deserves your unironic respect because a) you won't listen, and b) the show is kind of over now anyway so it's no use. Someday though, I'll tell you and you will regret enjoying the masterpiece when it was in it's prime. ANYWAY, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt play the villians on the fake reality TV show about hot, young things living and "working" in LA. They are genius on the show and deserve every second of fame garnered there.


They have become fame WHORES. Most of us experts would agree that Spencer Pratt is an evil mastermind who has created scenarios, conversations, and characters that dominate the spotlight. He is the creator of controversy, the star of his own drama, and BFF with none other than shit-smearing-gossip-blogger Perez Hilton. The media eats him up.

Probably cause of shit like this:

Heidi, Spencer, and Rod Blagojevich (failed evil mastermind and former governor of my homeland) in a promo shot for a TV show called "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!" that I not only never watched but never actually read anything about and YET somehow managed to gather way too many details regarding whether Heidi and Spencer were still on it, were getting kicked off, were demanded to be removed, were having sex or not having sex, and other things that even I don't care about

Heidi and Spencer caught in a private moment celebrating Mother's Day with Heidi's mom. This is seriously supposed to look like the papparazzi caught them unawares. UGH.

I do not want to hear anything more about them. Last year, celeb blog PopEater decided they didn't either and posted a poll: Should we stop covering Heidi and Spencer entirely? 95 percent voted yes and the site has hardly mentioned them since. Ah, bliss. Now if only I could get real news to ignore them.

A month ago I talked about how I wished I could run faster and be better at living. I thought perhaps the problem was my awful asthma and I finally got involved with some high-level allergists to get to the bottom of it. You were all so supportive so I wanted to give you and update.

Last Thursday I completed my final appointment at the clinic. They want to see me again in 3 months. I took many allergy tests and many lessons on how to take my medication properly. I kept breathing diaries. In the end the doctor decided that I was medicated as best I can be for my asthma and that my asthma is "controlled" according to their standards as long as I keep taking all my meds.

So my exercise problems aren't asthma-related, I'm told. The doctor said I need to go back to my regular doctor and see what other things she thinks could be causing my lameness. Heart stuff was discussed.

How do I feel about this? I feel like after having allergies my whole life (seriously, you just know when you have them) I can't trust the prick tests they gave me that tested negative. It didn't help when my mom said that my brother always tested negative for those and yet needed those weekly allergy shots to survive most of his childhood. Us Schillings, we resist tests. If I can trust those tests, what else can't I trust?

I also feel really, really not motivated to go back to my regular doctor and try to convince her that something is wrong with me. My experience with doctors is that they always, always doubt me and my symptoms. So asking her to send me to a heart doctor and then trying to make her believe that something could be wrong with me sounds like the hardest thing ever. Harder than just living with my sub-par body.

So. I need some courage, I suppose. D'ya think I could get a shot of that?

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