Whether things are good or bad or you're simply...eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt.

Before I say anything else, I think you guys should know something really important: you all scare the hell out of me. Do you know that EVERY THURSDAY, you hold my self-esteem in your hands? Here, I've made a chart* with which to better illustrate:



See? The more you comment, the higher my self-esteem. And the higher my self-esteem, the happier I am. And the happier I am, the less I whine about crap. So my IRL people thank you.

Here's something else: I feel guilty about everything, all of the time. I feel guilty when people are mad at me (even if I've done nothing wrong), I feel guilty for procrastinating, I feel guilty for killing bugs, I feel guilty for buying crap at Target I don't need. AND I feel guilty when I see that someone has done something nice for someone else, because I didn't think to do it first THEREFORE I must be a horrible person. WHAT THE HELL? I'm not even Catholic.

So here's what -- ever since I saw the topic for this week, I've been feeling guilty. See, I post last every week and I'm so scared that I will forget to appreciate someone and they'll feel left out and then they'll cry and then I'll cry and we'll all use too many tissues and that's bad for the environment. And then I'll feel guilty about hurting the environment and cry some more and it's this horrible, ugly cycle that I don't want any of us to be a part of, OK? OK.

I've been thinking a lot about this whole blogging thing. I've been blogging for going on six years now and the reason I keep doing it is because you people are all so awesome. I love the little community that has sprung up here at The Collective. I love that I've had the pleasure of meeting some of you IN REAL LIFE and that you still seem to like me even though I was loud and obnoxious (alcohol was involved) and I made Abigail pay the DJ to play all Oasis songs and then I got in a fight with Jenny about how OASIS IS AWESOME, DAMMIT and then when the DJ finally played Oasis, I'd had so much tequila that I'd forgotten the words to Don't Look Back in Anger but I tried to sing along anyway and ended up sounding kind of like Jodie Foster in Nell, only louder and drunker. True story.

I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you all for being so awesome. Only I used way more words than that and not many of them made sense. STANDARD. Also, I heart you guys, never change, LYLAS**.


*I didn't say it was a good chart
**(OMG, remember LYLAS?)