News I never, ever want to hear about again.

If a picture is worth all that blah blah blah, then my net worth of blah is off the charts. It's no huge secret that I've been busy, and this weekend past while hiding out from the world on my best friend's UWS rooftop deck (my God, this weather, right?) I summed up the change of Administration pretty damn accurately: our scientists are all, w00t!, and our lawyers are all, OH SHIT. Including me.

So busy I've been that all I've had time for is blah, and having time only for blah I've had none for news. Well, real news anyway.

My boyfriend's mother has developed this very bad habit of calling on the telephone. To talk to me. And only me. It's bad enough I have to talk to my own mother on a semi-regular basis, but to add his as well? Not to mention the fact that I'm Facebook friends and regular email/text messaging correspondents with his two step-mothers. Did I mention we're not married? I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS!

So here is a short list of "news" I never, ever want to hear about again:

1. How cute your step-son's kids are and how much you wish you had grandchildren of your own.
2. Your latest knitting project.
3. All the fabulous new things you bought with my boyfriend's inheritance.
4. Your latest fabulous vacation that you didn't bother to invite us on.
5. How much you miss your dead dogs.
6. Your landscaping triumphs/woes.
7. Your computer/cable/cellular telephone problems.
8. Anything having anything to do with your/your husband's gluten-free diet.
9. How wonderful your unimaginative cooking is.
10. How terrible your terrible cooking is.
11. Anything having to do with Outback.
12. Tree damage from the great Buffalo ice storm of 2006.
13. How fabulously wonderful your daughters are.
14. How many rooms in your giant house need redecorating.
15. This list is getting long so I'll just stop now.