5. Dexter -- kills bad people so you don't have to
OK, so he kills people, like...a lot. He kills a lot of people. But they're all BAD people. And he's a surprisingly good boyfriend and surrogate father when he's not all cheating on Rita but that was OK because THEY WERE ON A BREAK!
4. LaFleur -- steals and saves pre-evil children because he loves you
The best thing that Sawyer ever did was jumping off that helicopter, away from stupid, whiny Kate, and swimming back to the beach because who was waiting there? Juliet. Then they time traveled and Sawyer grew up to become LaFleur and he and Juliet were totally about to live happily ever after until Kate and Jack came back to ruin everyone's lives because that is what they do. They ruin lives. Anyway. Here is LaSawyer being all adorable and supportive with Juliet.
3. Devon aka Captain Awesome -- is awesome for you because he's awesome
Dude. He's awesome, what more can I say?
2. Ned the Piemaker -- wakes pies and makes the dead for you
Ned brought his girlfriend back from the dead and stayed with her even though they couldn't even touch, and everyone knows guys want The Sex all the time so that was pretty big of him, yes? Yes. Plus, he's super thoughtful and if he was your boyfriend, he'd make you pies all the time.
1. Marshall -- lets you paint nude art of him because THAT'S HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU
Marshmallow and Lily-pad are one of TV's most adorable couples, and Marshall is THE most devoted boyfriend in the history of television, AND DON'T YOU ARGUE WITH ME. Plus, he loves The Loch Ness Monster, which means you could go Nessie-spotting with him in Scotland. And he's cuddly. Bitch.
Honorary Mention: Jim Halpert
He was going to be #1 but then I remembered that, while he was a totally swoonworthy boyfriend to Pam, he was a pretty terrible boyfriend to both the purse girl and Karen. But whatever, I couldn't just NOT include him. Or this:
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11 comments:
Jim really was terrible to Karen. I mean, he just left her in NYC, right?
They never really said, but that's what it seemed like he did. I think he was so awful to all his other GFs because he really wanted to be dating Pam. Which is no excuse, but still...aww. Heh.
This is a really good list. Your logic is undefeatable, especially about The Sex and the pies.
If I can betray my heterosexual status for just a moment, I'd like to nominate George-Michael Bluth for your list.
Ashley, I'm pretty logical about pretend things.
GSR, oooh, that's a good one! He was so good to Bland, I mean, Anne.
I love Captain Awesome! Except, Jim definitely wins this list. How can two pretend people make me so happy?
Captain Awesome is so awesome! I like what they're doing with him this season.
I could watch that Captain Awesome clip reel all day. Plus, I'm snuggly. Bitch.
I MISS THE PIEMAKER.
Abs, he IS snuggly. Look at him!
kat, ME TOO. Also Salinger's death has made me all angsty. Get it together, Jennie.
If Marshall were my boyfriend, he'd TOTALLY be the settler, and I'd be the reacher.
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