Monday, 18 January 2010

Two for one: unanswerable questions and guilt!

heather It's guilty pleasures week here at the Collective, but before I start weaving a yarn about all the things I should feel guilty about (but don't), let me remedy last week's cop-out by answering the "would you rather" questions Abigail posed to me. (It's two posts for the price of one!)

Would you rather...

Live in England or live in Chestnut Mountain?
Someday I am going to write a story about how the exact opposite of being an Englishwoman is being Southerner, but the truth is I would rather live neither place. Oh, sure, I'd love to have a flat in London and a farmhouse in Wales because I really do love Britain. But, culturally-speaking, I could never fit in in the UK. Same as Chestnut Mountain, GA actually. I live here because I love my family. And I'd miss them in Seattle.

Shred your library card or mark all as read in Reader?
Easy: mark all as read. I used to have this total moral quandary about it (what if I overlook the one piece of information I've never known I always needed?!) but now I do it all the time. It's like Shift + A is its own New Year! Plus, my Google Reader Share Team is the best in the business.

Have Sarah Walker or Veronica Mars?
I would like to have Sarah Walker at my flat in London and Veronica Mars at my Welsh Farmhouse. For keeps.

Mountain bike or dog walk?
Dog walk.

Amy was ragging on me recently about something and I said, "Stop it, or I am going to have to throw myself out of the window!" And she was all, "You would never throw yourself out of a window; you love these dogs too much." Which: absolutely true.

Eat only candy or burritos?
Burritos forever times infinity!

Buy babies or puppies?
Look, I didn't even love my own nephew until he was a toddler. Babies weird me out. Answer: puppies!


Now! Let's talk about guilty pleasures! I don't have any. I mean, I guess I have guilty pleasures, but I don't feel particularly guilty about any of them. Basically, I just have pleasures. Here's a list of pleasures that people sometimes try to make me feel guilty about.

1) Gossip Girl — A couple of months ago, Amy hammered her ankle something fierce and we had to go to the ER and it's still not entirely better, and sometimes she's like, "When did I do this?" And I'm all, "Seven weeks, four days ago." And I think she thinks I'm just really good at mental math or totally over-concerned about her foot. But really I just remember because she did it the night of the GG threesome.

2) FanVids — Dudes, I'm a shipper. I've always been a shipper. Like, when I was a kid: Bo and Hope from Days of Our Lives. Teenager: Lois and Clark, Ross and Rachel, Dawson and Joey. Grown-up: Bette and Tina, Booth and Brennan, Josh and Donna, Ron and Hermione, Chuck and Sarah.

Oh, you guys! Chuck and Sarah!

3) FanFic
— I write it. I read it. I have my favorites saved in Google Docs so they'll never, ever go away. (That happened to me once. My favorite fan fics went away. NEVER AGAIN!)

4) TV, I just love it — I'm totally friends with intellectual snobs who have conversations like, "I don't watch much TV." "Oh, I don't watch any TV." "Well, I don't even own a TV." "Yeah, well, I've never even heard of a TV."

But I love TV. Just like me Granny loved TV. No running through the house like a band of hooligans! Granny is trying to watch her stories!

5) Comic Books —
Yeah, I know, I'm 31. But I'm going to keep my subscriptions at the comic shop until comic shops are dead and gone. (Which, Batman willing, will not happen in my lifetime.)

6) QVC — I don't buy stuff off of QVC, but I am fascinated by it. It's the people who are selling stuff, and how they can just talk and talk and talk about it like it's the most interesting thing in the world. It mesmerizes me.

OK, so sometimes I do buy stuff on QVC. But only important stuff, like a Wii Fit. Or an EverRest ComfyPillow. Or an absolutely necessary set of 45 spatulas.


You can call me, 'Sir' said...

When my mom was somewhere in her 40s, she decided that she wanted to get back into comics, so she hunted down and bought every X-men involving Wolverine that she could get her hands on. Turns out she found all of them. I initially thought it was a little strange until I sat down and read them all over a 2-day period because they were so terminally awesome.

Jennie said...

Those little puppies...I want them.

Ashley said...

Okay . . . the fanfic thing. I do it too. And I'm so ashamed of it that I might have to come back and delete this comment later. I don't feel these feelings about any of the other dumb things that I do, but fanfic is like this awful secret burden, like if I was in the habit of shooting heroin into my eyeballs or something.

P.S. I use to ship Bo and Hope too. Oh my god. And I almost hesitate to ask this, but did you ever read Lois and Clark: Season Five and Six, the fanfics? Yeah. Also, also! I have lost SO many fics because I didn't save them :(

mysterygirl! said...

Those puppies are still ridiculously cute. Good choice.

I love TV, too, and I'm not ashamed to admit it, either. :)

Kiti said...

I don't watch TV. I don't own a TV. But it's not because I am a high-brow snob, or that I have anything against television. When I got divorced, my ex-husband kept the TVs and I kept the baby. True story. I know I got the better end of the deal.

Heather Anne said...

But Ashley, how come you're so ashamed? I'll tell you a secret: I've talked with the writers of the TV show I write fan fic about and they LOVE fan fic. And! One woman who runs the production company who does EPKs for my favorite shows also reads fan fic. She emailed me about mine once. Seriously. Here's a double secret: I happen to know Joss Whedon also has some saved fan fic on his computer.

Heather said...

The QVC part just reminded me of this little tidbit of movie brilliance, a movie that reminds me of you, Heather Anne!

'Yes... Now how many of you "have it oeuf"... have it oeuf... it's French... All you do is put the egg in here like this... and... up, down, up, down...and voila! Ooh, mind the over-spray, dear.'

Heather Anne said...

Bwaha! Bridget Jones! Love it, Heather! Love it, love it, love it!

sarah g said...

...I thought "Kiti" was Kat. I was like...what? You were divorced? When you were what? 10?! (being with the boyfriend as long as you have...and being non-marrying and all)...

Anonymous said...

Um, I need details. Will be emailing you.

Ashley said...

Shit. That was me. What's up with the new comment form?

Kiti said...

sarah g - No, I am the sad divorced person. Kat is in a happy and stable (I trust) relationship.

In order to avoid excessive negativity and bringing everyone down, I'll have to say that I LOVE Veronica Mars, and fan vids, and good fan fiction (which I don't write but got into reading when my best friend started writing Bones fics)!

kat said...

yes, very stable. heh.

(sorry for the late reply; i'm still catching up on internet.)

Never That Easy said...

I'm catching up as well, and the idea of Joss Whedon with fan fic on his computer makes me unbelievably happy.

eclectic said...

Facebook. TOTALLY guilty.

Kelly said...

Oh, my grandma used to call them her "stories," too... I also love me my stories, just like her.

broke bertha said...

When my grandma quit smoking and was going through menopause (I don't know why she decided these two things should coincide) she watched a shitton of QVC. Now, I have a dozen QVC rings coming to me in her will. Les sigh.

As for the tv bit...if someone took away tv...I would so die. L and O, Bravo, omg...sometimes I just turn it on to keep me company in the house. Just sayin'.