Two for one: unanswerable questions and guilt!

It's guilty pleasures week here at the Collective, but before I start weaving a yarn about all the things I should feel guilty about (but don't), let me remedy last week's cop-out by answering the "would you rather" questions Abigail posed to me. (It's two posts for the price of one!)

Would you rather...

Live in England or live in Chestnut Mountain?
Someday I am going to write a story about how the exact opposite of being an Englishwoman is being Southerner, but the truth is I would rather live neither place. Oh, sure, I'd love to have a flat in London and a farmhouse in Wales because I really do love Britain. But, culturally-speaking, I could never fit in in the UK. Same as Chestnut Mountain, GA actually. I live here because I love my family. And I'd miss them in Seattle.

Shred your library card or mark all as read in Reader?
Easy: mark all as read. I used to have this total moral quandary about it (what if I overlook the one piece of information I've never known I always needed?!) but now I do it all the time. It's like Shift + A is its own New Year! Plus, my Google Reader Share Team is the best in the business.

Have Sarah Walker or Veronica Mars?
I would like to have Sarah Walker at my flat in London and Veronica Mars at my Welsh Farmhouse. For keeps.

Mountain bike or dog walk?
Dog walk.

Amy was ragging on me recently about something and I said, "Stop it, or I am going to have to throw myself out of the window!" And she was all, "You would never throw yourself out of a window; you love these dogs too much." Which: absolutely true.

Eat only candy or burritos?
Burritos forever times infinity!

Buy babies or puppies?
Look, I didn't even love my own nephew until he was a toddler. Babies weird me out. Answer: puppies!





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Now! Let's talk about guilty pleasures! I don't have any. I mean, I guess I have guilty pleasures, but I don't feel particularly guilty about any of them. Basically, I just have pleasures. Here's a list of pleasures that people sometimes try to make me feel guilty about.

1) Gossip Girl — A couple of months ago, Amy hammered her ankle something fierce and we had to go to the ER and it's still not entirely better, and sometimes she's like, "When did I do this?" And I'm all, "Seven weeks, four days ago." And I think she thinks I'm just really good at mental math or totally over-concerned about her foot. But really I just remember because she did it the night of the GG threesome.

2) FanVids — Dudes, I'm a shipper. I've always been a shipper. Like, when I was a kid: Bo and Hope from Days of Our Lives. Teenager: Lois and Clark, Ross and Rachel, Dawson and Joey. Grown-up: Bette and Tina, Booth and Brennan, Josh and Donna, Ron and Hermione, Chuck and Sarah.

Oh, you guys! Chuck and Sarah!



3) FanFic — I write it. I read it. I have my favorites saved in Google Docs so they'll never, ever go away. (That happened to me once. My favorite fan fics went away. NEVER AGAIN!)

4) TV, I just love it — I'm totally friends with intellectual snobs who have conversations like, "I don't watch much TV." "Oh, I don't watch any TV." "Well, I don't even own a TV." "Yeah, well, I've never even heard of a TV."

But I love TV. Just like me Granny loved TV. No running through the house like a band of hooligans! Granny is trying to watch her stories!

5) Comic Books — Yeah, I know, I'm 31. But I'm going to keep my subscriptions at the comic shop until comic shops are dead and gone. (Which, Batman willing, will not happen in my lifetime.)

6) QVC — I don't buy stuff off of QVC, but I am fascinated by it. It's the people who are selling stuff, and how they can just talk and talk and talk about it like it's the most interesting thing in the world. It mesmerizes me.

OK, so sometimes I do buy stuff on QVC. But only important stuff, like a Wii Fit. Or an EverRest ComfyPillow. Or an absolutely necessary set of 45 spatulas.