Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth.

1. Travel to the past or the future in your clear-titanium-covered time machine?

Here's the thing. It seems so silly to get the time machine with the bonus clear-titanium cover and NOT go see some dinosaurs. I mean, you've GOT the titanium cover, which I'm pretty sure a T-Rex couldn't bite through, and it's clear, so you can see everything just fine from the safety of your time machine. But. You know I'm not going to be able to go all the way back in time, see some baby dinosaurs, and NOT get out and try and make friends with them. I watched The Land Before Time ONE TOO MANY TIMES as a kid, and the damage is done. I can only assume that I'd see a brontosaurus, get out of the time machine, and be eaten by a velociraptor before I could say, "longneck."

I think it's safer for everyone, including the dinosaurs, that I go to the future, steal a hoverboard, and give it to Heather Anne.

2. Own a baby dragon or a baby dinosaur (assuming they would stay small and friendly)?

See above: baby dinosaur (preferably a brontosaurus)

3. Drink PBR or wine from a box?

I think wine from a box is totally underrated. My friend had just beer and wine in a box at her wedding reception and everyone was so excited to be drinking wine in a box that we could BARELY CONTAIN OURSELVES. This might have something to do with memories of playing a game in college that we called "Slap the Bag," which consisted of taking the bag of wine OUT of the box, having someone hold it above your head and opening the spigot so wine poured quickly into your guppy-like mouth while someone else, you know, slapped the bag.

However, I think if I tried to play this game now, I would die, so PBR.

4. Make out with Jim Halpert or Mr. Darcy?

RIP OUT MY HEART, WHY DON'T YOU? I would use my time machine to go back in time and make out with Mr. Darcy and then use it again to go back to the future (BAM!) and make out with Jim Halpert and what do you mean both are fictional YOU SHUT UP RIGHT NOW.

5. Play the guitar or drums on Rock Band?

If you'd asked me this a few months ago, I would have said guitar, because I was afraid of the drums. But when Joe got Beatles Rock Band, I decided to embrace my inner Ringo and now the drums are my favorite.

6. Fight Draco Malfoy or Sue Sylvester?

I know Draco Malfoy has magic and all, but he's kind of a scaredy-cat-nancy-boy. Sue Sylvester is straight up EVIL, you guys. She would crush me like a bug. Plus, if I fight Draco, I at least get a wand, right? To make it a fair fight? Win win win.