When I learned the topic of this week's Collective my instant recall of all words Klosterman instantly kicked in, specifically his thoughts on guilty pleasures. To wit:In and of itself, the phrase "guilty pleasure" seems like a reasonable way to describe certain activities. For example, it is pleasurable to snort cocaine in public restrooms, and it always makes you feel guilty; as such, lavatory cocaine fits perfectly into this category. Drinking more than five glasses of gin before (or during) work generally qualifies as a guilty pleasure. So does having sex with people you barely know, having sex with people you actively hate, and/or having sex with people you barely know but whom your girlfriend used to live with during college (and will now consequently hate). These are all guilty pleasures in a technical sense. However, almost no one who uses the term "guilty pleasure" is referring to activities like these. People who use this term are usually talking about why they like Joan of Arcadia, or the music of Nelly, or Patrick Swayze's Road House. This troubles me for two reasons: Labeling things like Patrick Swayze movies a guilty pleasure implies that a) people should feel bad for liking things they sincerely enjoy, and b) if these same people were not somehow coerced into watching Road House every time it's on TBS, they'd probably be reading A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.(Thank you Chuck for writing half of my post for today. Call me, and I'll buy you a beer at the Irish Channel.)
Both of these assumptions are wrong.
So. Attempting to stay within the confines of Mr. Klosterman's parameters, I present a list of my guilty pleasures, which likely need little to no explanation.
- Being a little (or a lot) tipsy in the office.
- Getting hit on by boys who are not my boyfriend.
- Making fun of people, especially to their faces.
- Not squashing insects, but instead giving them to my cat to torture and then eat.
- Waking my cat up from a deep sleep because he's just so damned adorable.
- Eating more than one Krispy Kreme doughnut in one sitting.
- Thinking there is no better macaroni and cheese than Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
- Calling in sick when I'm not really sick.
- Not calling anyone back, ever.
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10 comments:
Maybe the bird was pissed about how long the dude's fingernails were. And for that can you really blame the bird? I don't think so. I'd probably be standing off to the side with a bucket of popcorn cheering the little guy on, like, 'Yeah, bird! Bite that shit!'
I guess this makes me a bad person.
the question is: do you feel guilty about it?
That bird won't just bite, it may even bite bite. And it looks like it doesn't fuck around, either.
If you ever feel like writing a pro's guide to being tipsy around the office I am always looking out for more ideas.
Oh man, I NEVER call people back. I know it means I suck. But I can't help it.
I'm really bad about calling people back, too. Or calling people at all. I hate the phone.
the phone is the devil's invention. true story.
kat: no.
I call people back... just not ALL people. Ergo, I suck worse.
Waking Winston, though, I don't know. I think when cats rule the world you might end up paying for that one.
Vahid took my joke :(
Oh, shit, Mr. Klosterman just hit me where I live, because it's true that I frequently watch Road House when it's on TBS but I've never finished Portrait of the Artist... :(
Best vacation photo ever, though. And I too enjoy making fun of people to their faces, but that makes me feel less guilty than making fun of them behind their back does.
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