In and of itself, the phrase "guilty pleasure" seems like a reasonable way to describe certain activities. For example, it is pleasurable to snort cocaine in public restrooms, and it always makes you feel guilty; as such, lavatory cocaine fits perfectly into this category. Drinking more than five glasses of gin before (or during) work generally qualifies as a guilty pleasure. So does having sex with people you barely know, having sex with people you actively hate, and/or having sex with people you barely know but whom your girlfriend used to live with during college (and will now consequently hate). These are all guilty pleasures in a technical sense. However, almost no one who uses the term "guilty pleasure" is referring to activities like these. People who use this term are usually talking about why they like Joan of Arcadia, or the music of Nelly, or Patrick Swayze's Road House. This troubles me for two reasons: Labeling things like Patrick Swayze movies a guilty pleasure implies that a) people should feel bad for liking things they sincerely enjoy, and b) if these same people were not somehow coerced into watching Road House every time it's on TBS, they'd probably be reading A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.(Thank you Chuck for writing half of my post for today. Call me, and I'll buy you a beer at the Irish Channel.)
Both of these assumptions are wrong.
So. Attempting to stay within the confines of Mr. Klosterman's parameters, I present a list of my guilty pleasures, which likely need little to no explanation.
- Being a little (or a lot) tipsy in the office.
- Getting hit on by boys who are not my boyfriend.
- Making fun of people, especially to their faces.
- Not squashing insects, but instead giving them to my cat to torture and then eat.
- Waking my cat up from a deep sleep because he's just so damned adorable.
- Eating more than one Krispy Kreme doughnut in one sitting.
- Thinking there is no better macaroni and cheese than Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
- Calling in sick when I'm not really sick.
- Not calling anyone back, ever.