I’m especially good at PROCRASTINATING!

   Here are five things I'm good at blah blah blah TV blah books blah poop blah WHATEVER. 

1. Watching TV

I know this sounds like a weird thing to be good at but I think I’m really good at it, you guys. Like, if there is something I’ve spent my entire life training to be good at, it’s watching and talking about TV. I love it. I don’t watch as much of it as I used to, and I’m not as passionate about some of the shows I used to really, like, triple heart love (Oh, The Office, this hurts me) but when I love a show, I LOVE A SHOW. Like with my whole being. I was just telling Joe the other day that sometimes I worry about my level of obsession when it comes to shows like Community and Friday Night Lights. I feel like those shows are EMBEDDED IN MY SOUL, along with so many others. (Here, I will list them: (early) The Office, The X-Files, Buffy, Party Down, Arrested Development, Veronica Mars, Pushing Daisies, Friends, Sports Night, LOST, DOCTOR WHO OMG.)

Because, you guys? If Community was a person, I would be stalking it. I’d pitch a tent on Community’s front lawn, steal buy the most expensive binoculars I could find, and write love haikus to it in my own blood.

Same goes for all those other shows, too. I’M GLAD THEY ARE NOT PEOPLE OR I’D NEED A BLOOD TRANSFUSION RIGHT NOW. DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM? I ABUSE CAPS LOCK, ALL FOR THEM! I DO IT ALL FOR YOU, MULDER SHOWS!

So maybe it’s weird to think I’m good at watching TV, but if it’s good enough for Adam Scott, it’s good enough for me.

2. Picking out books

The other day, I was reading through some Cannonball Reads reviews, looking for books to add to my To Read list on Goodreads (THERE ARE SO MANY BOOK WEBSITES I LOVE IT), when I noticed that there were people reviewing books that they hadn’t so much enjoyed. Maybe they even hated them, who knows? I don’t remember. Sorry.

It was at that point that I realized I hardly ever finish a book and think, “Oh, wow, I hated that.” It’s only happened a handful of times, when I finished The Devil Wears Prada (OK, I did not finish it, I threw the book down in disgust after only a chapter or two), some book by Paulo Coelho (that, in retrospect, I maybe only hated because it was about love and I was maybe not in a good place in my life at that time to be reading about love?), and Atonement (sorry, Ashley). I’m sure there are other books I didn’t like, but I do tend to really enjoy the majority of the books I read. Maybe it’s because I have low expectations, I don’t know, but I prefer to think that I’m just really good at picking out books that I’ll enjoy.

Or I just enjoy all most books. IT’S A MYSTERY.

3. Replacing the words of a song with different words

See post title.

(This one might be cheating because I mostly just replace the words in songs with things like “butt” or “poop” or “buttpoop,” but I think it still counts.)

4. Buying gifts for people

Just...here:

FLASH!

5. Memorizing useless information (mostly in relation to pop culture, to be completely honest)

Like I said, this is mostly in relation to movie quotes from the late 90s/early 00s and TV quotes from always, but I also contain random factoids about orthodontics, even though I haven’t worked at the orthodontist office in five years, as well behind-the-scenes X-Files information, where to fast-forward to if you only want to watch the Elizabeth Bennet/Mr. Darcy googly-eyes scenes in Pride & Prejudice* (this is because I first owned the miniseries ON VHS), and that the inventor of the brassier was Otto Titzling (not, as one might assume, Mr. Titspervert Fitzherbert).

*the real one