The movie review that wasn't.

It's a kinda funny thing that I was the one who suggested we review movies this week when I can't even remember the last time I watched one. And it's not like I don't like movies, it's just that I've got a lot of stuff on my plate these days. Like going to hockey games and looking at condos and what have you. In fact, I'm getting ready to head out and look at a penthouse across the street from the hockey arena, so for today you'll just have to settle for this really crappy movie I made myself. And I promise that Jennie's post tomorrow will be so, so much better.



xoxo,
Kat

Recently I was arguing with an older male coworker (who prides himself on being labeled as an older male coworker) because he was being very judgemental about movies he was labeling as chick flicks (labels are important to him). He was saying that chick flicks were movies that woman watched because women were in them and these women both watching the movies and in the movies had no substance to them but emotions and the movies had no point but to make the (female) viewer feel something. Something stupid, he added.

I've always thought that the label chick flick applied to movies that often starred women and dealt with subject matter that supposedly appealed more to women. I've always been open to chick flicks as a genre because "movies that appeal to women" is a ridiculously broad label and therefore, shockingly, stops being a label. I love as many chick flicks as I hate and I hate all awful lot because um, hello, don't try to force everything into traditional gender roles. IT'S NOT A THING.

Ahem.

So, what I am trying to say is that there are lots of chick flicks that have nothing to do with gender roles. People (like my coworker) might still try to make them about gender roles because people are sheep, but we're all too good for that shit, am I right?

This is precisely why I hated and despised and hated some more He's Just Not That Into You. That movie sucked hard in all the ways, except the part that made Sarah Brown write my single favorite review ever on the internet. So, did you read that? Okay, now I'm going to talk about a different movie that doesn't make get the ALL CAPS RAGE.


Confessions of a Shopaholic

I wasn't sure I'd like this; I was very, very fearful of a "you know how women are with their shopping!" vibe, but it totally didn't exist. Fisher gave the role a very Bridget Jonesian feel and I liked the campyness of naming the fashion magazine Alete (get it? Elite?) and the parent mag company Dantay West (get it? Conde Nast? ha!). I like the very cute boy with an accent that I thought I had never seen before, but forgot he was in another chick flick I love, The Jane Austen Book Club (he's better in this one though).

Here's what else I loved about this movie:
-despite being a lot about fashion, I never felt all small because I don't know anything about it
-their is a genius magazine column with great branding, a clever logo, and a theme that ties in with the movie
-the best friend is multi-dimensional (although vaguely)
-one terrific drunk scene
-CGI mannequins are actually cool and not creep like the Old Navy ones
-Andrew Bernard and Barack Obama and Jessie from Toy Story and Rory Gilmore's crazy Yale friend who dates Marty are ALL in it
-it was cute and fun
-it was funny
-it talked about business cat things like APR and FINANCE
-I wasn't able to read more than 2 pages of the book, but now I kind of want to (but I won't, because I'm still going to trust my first instinct)

In conclusion: very yes. This chick flick makes you feel, sure, but it doesn't make you feel needlessly and it sure doesn't make you feel anything but light and fun. It might make you feel like you should balance your check book or, perhaps, care about fashion a scootch more, but it won't make you feel silly about being a woman, and it won't make you feel like women are silly, so it's a winning chick flick in my book. You should see it because it's fun and because it's probably at the cheap theater near you by now.

Movie Review: "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa"

The last thing that came to me from my Blockbuster queue was Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa. I never miss an animated movie, but I skipped this sequel in the theater because Dreamworks is so hit-and-miss with its animated offerings. (Shrek, Shrek 2 = gooood. Bee Movie, Flushed Away = laaaame.)

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa's screenplay was fifty-eleven times funnier than the original. In fact, it was more than hilarious; it was sharp and warm, just like the stellar animation.



In the first Madagascar, Alex the Lion (voiced by Ben Stiller), Marty the Zebra (voiced by Chris Rock), Gloria the Hippo (voiced by Jada Pinkett-Smith), and Melman the Giraffe (voiced by Ross Gellar) escape the Central Park Zoo to celebrate Marty's birthday. On their way to Connecticut, they're caught at Grand Central Station and put on a boat to Kenya. Unfortunately, some penguins hijack their ship, and they wind up stranded in Madagascar.

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa opens up as the Central Park Zoo animals prepare to fly back to New York. The flight goes as well as you'd expect considering the plane is refurbished and crewed by the same penguins who hijacked their ship in the first movie. They crash land in Africa, where Alex is reunited with his pride, and they meet other hippos, giraffes and zebras for the first time in their lives.



Their initial shock and excitement dissipates when they learn the ways of the wild. Alex the Lion realizes that popularity in Africa is all about brute strength, but he grew up loving to dance. Melman learns that, like him, all giraffes are hypochondriacs, but it's a small consolation because the love of his life, Gloria the Hippo, is swooning over a dude hippo who constantly flatters her heft. And Marty the Zebra? Well, he finds out that all zebras are voiced by Chris Rock.

The thing this sequel really gets right is the amount of screen-time it gives supporting characters. It's pretty standard fare to let main characters grow and develop, while the supporting characters provide comic relief. It's why boring Disney princesses always have quirky talking animals for best friends (except for Belle who is awesome on her own).



Julien, the cross-dressing King of the Lemurs, is voiced by Sacha Baron Cohen. Everything that comes out of his mouth is hilarious. ("Oh, suddenly throwing a giraffe into a volcano to make water is crazy!") The kid-favorites are the penguins. When Skipper isn't offering pragmatic flying advice ("Gently now, you just wanna kiss the ground, just a little peck, a smooch like you're kissing your sister."), he's hijacking tourist buses and stealing supplies to repair their plane. ("Pray to your personal god this hunk of junk flies.")

You don't get a cartoon movie without a moral, but it's never "Thank God for your vegetables and don't talk back to your mom and dad" when Dreamworks is delivering. In Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa, the lessons are about about non-traditional (inter-species, or penguin/hula doll) love; about embracing your strengths, even if it's dancing instead of wrestling; and about not fucking with New Yorkers, especially the retired ones.

Phone it in Friday: Last Crushes

Ah, Spring! The sun is shining, the birds are singing. Love is in the air. Wait, no. That's not love; it's pollen. Never mind.

It's Friday, kids. Tell us about your last crush.

I love LARP

Just the other day, Joe and I were getting in his car to go to dinner, and what should I see in the field in front of me? Why, a sword! Sticking out of the ground! Like Excalibur! And around this sword swooped a fire-breathing dragon! And gremlins! And other scary stuff! Like zombies! And orcs! Remember orcs? They were in that movie! About the ring! They are gross!

Luckily, a knight stood before us! His cape billowed in the breeze as he knelt on the ground in front of the sword, head bowed. Then he leapt! And spun around the creatures that were all, "We are totally going to kill you, knight guy!" And he grabbed that sword and pulled! And the sword was free! FREEEEEDOM! is what the sword would say if swords had mouths instead of sharp, shiny edges.

He was not done, though, oh NO he was not. The brave knight jumped and parried until all of his enemies lay defeated. What bravery! What courage! What style! I had to thank him.

Me: Thank you, brave sir knight!
Joe: Stop yelling at strangers.
Sir Knight: What ho!
Me: Hey, he just called me a ho! YOU SCALLYWAG!
Joe: Sigh.

OK, none of that really happened. Except the first part, sort of, but I have a feeling that only happened in the knight's head. And the knight was really a kid wearing a Spider-Man beach towel as a cape and playing King Arthur or something in the field by Joe's apartment. And if you think it's weird that my current crush is a kid in a fake cape, then you should know that I'm dating the grown-up version of him so it makes total sense.

Anyway. The kid looked like a mini version of McLovin in Role Models. Like this, basically:

Here is a very bad video of the event, with some commentary:

And then, right after we turned the video off, he started swinging the sword all around and he totally jumped over that bench and did some karate chop moves and kicks and stuff and it was awesome.

The end.