Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Twinkle, twinkle little bat.

I wish I had a cup of coffee right now, but that is not what this is about. But it COULD be, and man, wouldn't that be nice? When I visited with Maggie and Nick and Jenny last weekend they gave me coffee every morning, and now that Alex is no longer with child, she just can't stop rubbing all that caffeinated goodness in my face, and what is my deal, anyway? It's not like I don't have all the whatnot one needs to make a gosh darn cup of coffee for oneself, and I know I already made myself some green tea, but THIS IS AMERICA! What the hell am I doing drinking green tea anyway? I ain't no commie pinko liberal, I'll tell you what.

Oh wait, I am.

But this is still America, and if I want a fucking cup of coffee I can have a fucking cup of coffee. It's just that this is America, so no one's just gonna hand me that fucking cup of coffee, I have to make it myself, and gosh darn it, what the heck am I paying taxes for? THIS IS AMERICA! I want 50 acres and a mule, and two chickens in my pot, and I WANT A FUCKING CUP OF COFFEE. Also a bowl of cereal.

Okay, done. (We were out of the healthy cereal so I had to settle for a bowl of Cap'n Crunch. Darn.)

Hey, look! It's 11:45 and I haven't finished this post. Guess we'd better get down to brass tacks. (Is that the expression? Am I using it right? And what exactly does upholstery have to do with anything?) I think I've mentioned this once or twice, but I'll mention it again: I already do a lot of stuff. Really. Like a lot of lot of stuff. I do so much stuff that there isn't even enough time to do the stuff that I already do. So I guess if I could do anything ELSE, I'd invent a time machine so's I can have the time to do all the other stuff that needs doing. Because this stuff? Won't do itself.


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